Heretic of El Amarna

Chapter 26: Nefertiti

I sat in the room after he left, shell-shocked and numb as I considered what was going on.

Amenhotep had agreed with me about the gods. I hadn’t expected him to. I had expected him to laugh or stare at me as if I was crazy. Maybe get upset with me and tell me I was speaking nonsense. But he didn’t. Instead, he just agreed with me.

But he had wanted to wait to declare the truth to the people because now was a time of great unrest. The people weren’t ready for it yet because there were too many other, chaotic things occurring to mess up their view of normality.

But I was fine with waiting. Waiting was good.

Though I wasn’t particularly patient, I had learned to be so if it got me what I wanted or what I searched for.

I had waited for an opportunity to get out of marrying Thutmose, and I ended up marrying Amenhotep just as I’d always dreamed I would. Of course, Thutmose died, but I was trying to look on the positive side of things.

Because if I looked at the side that was dark and hurtful, I wouldn’t be able to hold my head up anymore. There would be too much grief and despair. Too much of it.

Someone glided in through the door, and I looked up to see Thutmose’s and Amenhotep’s sister, Isis, come in, the back hem of her white linen dress fluttering in her wake.

“Isis?” She didn’t come to see me often anymore, though when we were younger, we’d been inseperable.

In all honesty, Isis – or Isit as we sometimes called her to avoid confusion with the goddess – had been the last thing on my mind lately, but I knew she must be grieving as well because she was close to her older sister Henut-Taneb and to Thutmose.

She sat down beside me on the bed, silent for a moment. Then she whispered, “I almost can’t believe it…”

“Believe what, Isit?” I fell back to my usage of her childhood nickname without even realizing it.

She smiled wanly. “Many things… That you wed my younger brother in secret… That Thutmose and all of my sisters are gone… That my father is also headed down that path, and that I am the only one left aside from my brother where once there were seven…”

I nodded, understanding now. “Isis…” I stopped.

I didn’t have any words to say to her that would comfort her aching pain or take away the loss she was experiencing. So I remained silent.

Sometimes, when it comes to death, anyway, there wasn’t anything you could do or say that would make things better. Most of the time, people thought they had to fill that void with words. People hated silence – or so it seemed to me as I observed them from day to day. And it never fixed anything, saying more words. Usually it made everything worse or made the person who lost a loved one feel more empty because the words of comfort were meaningless and devoid of emotion for them.

I wouldn’t – no, couldn’t – be the person who acted that way. Who acted as though a few empty, but seemingly heartfelt words of condolence could make everything better for her or even – as strange as it might have seemed – for myself.

So we sat in silence together, staring at the wall, wrapped in our own separate bubbles of grief, but somehow still joined together despite the distance between us.

After a moment, she broke the silence. “Do you want to have lunch together? I know that we have not done much together in the past year or so… But…” She bit her lip.

“I would love to, Isit…” I fell back to using her nickname, feeling more comfortable doing so now.

She smiled, and though it still held a twinge of sadness, it was happy. “Many thanks, Nefertiti… I will see you at noon then?”

I nodded.

“Then I have to go now…” She murmured, standing up and giving me a quick hug before coasting out of the room again.

***

When Amenhotep returned from speaking with his mother, the first thing he did was to pull me into a passionate kiss.

As soon as he let me go, I blurted, “What was that for?”

He blushed, staring at the floor. “Am I not allowed to kiss my wife when I please?” He mumbled.

I smiled. “Of course… I just… You caught me off guard.”

He looked up through his eyelashes, grinning. “I like doing that… What are you doing this afternoon?”

I shrugged. “Having lunch with Isit.”

He nodded. “Well, I have something special planned for dinner…” He glanced at the sundial in the full sun of the window. “It is almost noon now… You probably have to go.”

I laughed at his crestfallen expression. “I know we have not had much alone time since we came back, Amenhotep, but tonight we will… I do not care who wants our attention, they will have to wait.” I declared, giving him a smile.

I was well nigh sick of being interrupted by something every time I tried to get him alone here. And I was not going to take anymore of it. If someone tried to interrupt us this time, I was going to make them wish they’d never been born.

Amenhotep laughed. “Very well, my beautiful one… I will see you tonight then…” The love glowing in his eyes as he stared at me made me wish I could just melt into his arms and not leave. Lunch with Isit would be nice, but nothing could compare to spending time alone with my husband.

I pulled him into me to give him one last kiss before sweeping out the door to head for lunch. I wasn’t about to be late – not even for him. Not if I didn’t have to.

Isit hated tardiness, and I knew that I would get questioning stares and irritated glances from her all through lunch if I showed up late. Just because she was a princess didn’t mean she didn’t have things to do.

In fact, I would argue that being a princess meant she had more things to do than most.

Which reminded me… I was a princess now too. And soon I would be Great Wife as well. Because if the rumors bouncing around the palace were true, Amenhotep’s father had very little time left to him.