Heretic of El Amarna

Chapter 39: Kiya

I sat in the garden on the lip of the pond. The pool of koi is peaceful, a sharp contrast to the turmoil within me. Tears slipped down my cheeks in rapid succession of one another, dropping into the pool to create a mini rain-storm in my section of the pond.

I knew he didn’t love me. I had known it the moment I set eyes on him and Nefertiti. He had found the woman he was in love with, and she had his heart.

I didn’t resent her for having it, really. It hurt to not be loved by the man I married, but I couldn’t hate Nefertiti for it. She probably never intended to take his heart, and more than likely, she never thought he would marry another woman.

Thinking about it in her perspective, it must hurt her too that he married me. I wondered if she thought that she wasn’t enough for him since he had to marry me too. We all know it was arranged though, so she isn’t likely to believe that, is she?

I couldn’t bear the thought that maybe I was causing Nefertiti pain. All this would be so much easier if I didn’t exist. If I was gone and dead. Or just gone.

I didn’t want to be dead – though if the heartbreak continued too much longer, I thought I might wish that.

The thing was, when I first came, I had never intended to fall in love with Amenhotep. He was just the man I had to marry. I didn’t have a choice, and I didn’t intend to care about the man who brought me into this foreign place, stealing me from all I cared for or held dear.

But as I had spent the last few months here, seeing a bit of him here and there, I had grown to care in a way I had promised myself I wouldn’t. Because the more I saw of his sweet, gentle nature and caring attitude, the less I was able to stop myself from loving him for it.

On the other hand, I was always nervous and uncertain around him. He was so strong, and I was so weak. It scared me as much as anything ever had, and the intensity of my feelings towards him frightened me.

I supposed it was natural for me to care about the father of my child, but it still felt strange and awkward. It was both pleasant and unpleasant all at the same time, and I had no idea how to deal with it.

Someone’s footsteps echoed through the garden paths. A moment later, Queen Tiye sat down on the bench a few feet away.

She was silent for a long time as I struggled to control my tears. She was not a woman who took kindly to weakness, and I didn’t want her to see mine.

“Why are you crying?” She murmured.

I shook my head, unwilling to answer. Queen Tiye was kind to me in most cases, but I still didn’t like her all that much. I did not hate her, but neither did I enjoy her company.

“Come now, child. Surely I am not such a terrible person that you will not share with me what is troubling you?”

I shook my head again, but this time I spoke. “Nay… You are not such a bad person to speak with of my troubles, my lady… Yet I find it difficult to speak of them with anyone.”

She sighed. “It is my son, is it not? What foolish thing has he done of late?”

I looked up abruptly to see the sad look on her face. “He… I… It is of no consequence. Truly, it is not. It is simply the hormones from the pregnancy and my own silliness that has me thus distraught.” I murmured, looking back to the pond and swirling my fingers about in it.

She sat in silence for a long moment.

I looked up again to see a thoughtful look on her face.

After another silent moment, she spoke. “I think that you have been rebuffed in your proclamation of love to my son. Is that true?”

I knew it was no use denying it, so I simply nodded.

The sharp light of the afternoon sun glinted on our wigs and off the pond’s crystalline waters.

She nodded perfunctorily. “I thought as much.”

Another lapse of silence filled the still garden.

“What will you do about it? Why did you wish to know?” I inquired after an uncomfortable moment or two of the stifling silence.

She shrugged. “I wished to know because… I am concerned for you. Kiya, your husband is contemplating something that will turn this whole country upside down. Should he succeed, he will bring Egypt down around our ears. He will end up getting himself and more than likely you and Nefertiti killed.”

My eyes widened. “What is he going to do?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Had she lost it? Gone mad?

“My lady, perhaps you ought to lie down out of the sun. Have you become ill?” I asked, worried.

She shook her head, laughing. “I am not ill, and I do not have sun-stroke, dear girl. The fact of the matter is that my son is planning to cut off all funding to the temples here and establish a monotheistic religion with himself and Nefertiti at its head.”

I stared, stunned. “You cannot truly believe that…” I protested.

“I do. I heard them speaking of it at one point. Or at least, someone else did and informed me of it. Kiya, unless we want to end up dead or prisoners, we must stop him before he does this deed. Will you help me?”

I stood up, dusting myself off before backing away. “What does helping involve?”

“Nothing much, really…” She answered vaguely.

I shook my head. “I need to know exactly what it involves. Or I will not help.”

She sighed. “At the moment, I simply want to get him off the throne. He needs to have a son. Either by you or by Nefertiti. Preferably by you. If he has one with Nefertiti, she will have even more power over him. She started this whole problem shortly after his older siblings died, leaving him with only his elder sister, Isis. You have met her, I believe?”

I nodded my understanding. “But how will you get him off the throne by having an heir produced? My son or Nefertiti’s could not take the throne unless he was dead.”

“Well, we would have to depose of my son or make it appear he was gone in some way whilst making certain he would never return.” She murmured.

I stared.

She wanted me to help her by bearing Amenhotep an heir – something I had no control over – and then to help by killing or exiling my husband.

She was contemplating killing Amenhotep.

She, his own mother, wanted him dead.