Heretic of El Amarna

Chapter 45: Tiye

“Well… How is the plan going?” I snapped at Ay.

He shrugged. “Tiye, there is nothing we can do at the moment. You must be patient. Once Nefertiti and Kiya have their babes, we will know better where we stand. We cannot assassinate Amenhotep without an heir, though, lest we plunge all of Egypt into a civil war, which we cannot afford at the moment.” Ay admonished.

I glared at the colorful paintings on my chambers’ walls. “I am sick of waiting.” I huffed.

Ay sighed. “I know that you are. But in just another two months, Kiya and Nefertiti are due.”

I bit my lip, beyond words now.

Ay took that as a signal to retreat. “We can determine our next move later, sister. For now, have patience.”

I said nothing, not wishing to blow up at my brother. We were close, and out of all my family members, he was the one I loved most aside from my late husband. I didn’t want to push him away from me in a time of such desperation and darkness.

He exited the room without another word, leaving me in the silence.

I stewed for a while in my annoyance. This was problematic. Another month of waiting, and I would surely go out of my mind. Truth be told, I was uncertain what would happen if we waited another month.

What if my son decided to announce his new religion and take off into the desert in search of some holy land to build a new capital? I wouldn’t put it beside him, and I worried that he would do exactly that.

After all, he wouldn’t be able to stay here in Thebes once he announced his plans for the new religion of the Aten. The priests would be furious, and more than likely, they would attempt assassinations regardless of what anyone said to calm them.

Which presented yet another problem for me. If he moved away from Thebes, how was I to coordinate the assassination attempts with Gyasi? I would be on my own.

Not that I didn’t think I could manage.

I could.

But it wouldn’t be easy to handle.

***

I was in a foul mood the rest of the day.

My servants tiptoed around me, and few would speak with me. They knew that if they spoke to me, they would get nothing but curses and insults. I was not having a good day, and when that occurred, people knew avoiding me was the best option available.

I spent the day roaming the halls of the palace, wishing that we could just have done with all the plotting and finish the assassination. Everything would be so much easier that way. No more waiting. No more hoping that the child born would be the heir. We would be done with it all and set up our own ruler.

Yes, there might be civil war, but it was nothing we couldn’t handle with all of Egypt’s armies on our side. And on our side they would be. Because if my son continued with his fatalistic nonsense and love-everybody behavior, the army was going to fall into ruination along with the rest of the country. So if they wished to keep Egypt and their ranks strong, they would not go against us, but would join with us, aiding us in establishing a new era. Rather, an old era with new leaders.

Restless, I decided to take a walk through the city. Taking a guard or two with me, I chose a palanquin and was carried out into the city.

***

Passing the afternoon browsing the markets in Thebes did little to abate my foul irritations. I returned a few pounds lighter with a few new articles of fine jewelry, but nothing seemed to lift my bad mood.

After some time spent pacing the gardens, I decided that a night out on my boat in the lake would be just the thing to calm me.

***

The stars twinkled above me as I sat on the boat, my knees drawn up to my chest, staring out into the distance.

It was nice to take a few moments of silent reflection and peace. After the recent chaos and horrible waiting, being out here in the lake with the peaceful swells to soothe my nerves was perfect. I could feel the bad mood I was in melting away as I lay on the rush bottom of the large barge, staring up at the beauty of Nut’s splendid banner.

The sky, the stars. All of them were her body. And her raiment. Far more beautiful than anything I could have imagined or worn. But I didn’t mind. I was glad that I was able to gaze upon such things.

The stars were wild like the leaping antelope or roaring lions of our desert. The moon was a fae creature, unknowable, uncatchable. It dominated the night sky in various forms, but always it dominated.

The stars seemed to pay homage to the brilliant orb, twinkling their admiration as they danced through the sky in their nightly routine.

The cool breeze blowing over the lake slipped over my scalp, gliding over the shaved skin.

I had taken off my wig for the sake of comfort and peace. Most women who could afford it wore wigs — often the wigs were made of their own hair — because it helped to cut down on time spent on hygiene and it aided in the battle against lice.

I sighed. This night was perfect. With the soft breeze whispering through my linen dress and playing with the rushes of the barge’s rush canopy, I could relax. I could let go of all the problems I had and be the woman I had been before all these issues came along. Before I became Queen. Before I had the ill fortune to be forced to struggle to remain Great Wife.

I could be free again out here.

And that — more than any other thing — was something I needed, something I longed for.

I almost felt like a little girl again.

My father used to take me out on the Nile sometimes at night, and we would gaze at the stars together far from the shore. The wind would blow in the rushes much as it was tonight and the soothing melody of wind and water would rock me to sleep.

I often had to be carried inside to my bed on nights like those.

Ah… To regain such blissful nights would be a gift indeed. I missed those days.

Those days were simple and carefree. I didn’t worry on plots or spend my days in restlessness, awaiting the birth of grandchildren. I didn’t spend days wishing I had never given birth to a second son. I didn’t spend my days looking upon the ruination of Egypt.

I spent them instead living and growing up in a simple place.

I had been a commoner before I married my husband, Amenhotep III. I had been high-ranking, but still not royalty. My days had been spent learning to do the tasks a wife would need to do: cooking, cleaning, caring for young children, and various other similar duties.

Now though… I spent my days like this — always in a perpetual state of worry and despair.

My eyelids grew heavy, and I began to drift in thoughts. The boat was anchored to the center of the lake, but the waves lapped gently against the sides, creating a peaceful rhythm that further lulled me into sleep.

Unable to remain awake any longer, my eyes closed, and I fell into a dreamless, peaceful slumber that harbored no ill intents or sorrows. Only a general feeling of happiness and good will.