waiting for the right moment

Chapter Seventeen

3/1/2017

 

    It is the first day of school after the vacation that I will never forget. I woke up at 5:00 am stressed from my test. I had a lot of tests that I was preparing for them all the vacation. I was lonely at 5:00 am I needed someone, company, Aiden woke up at 6:00 am one hour after me being lonely. I was so tired I hadn’t slept well. If it wasn’t for the bracelet I wouldn’t have slept I think. It is very valuable to me and I never imagined such a small thing will mean that much. I’m never going to lose it, it will stay with me, on my wrist. It’s my priority from now on.

     I went to school and had a hard day, so exhausting. When I got home I studied to get to the tutoring center at time.

    By night I started feeling hurt, he wasn’t doing well and I was worried. I’ve never seen him like that so hopeless and defeated. I’ve been reading a novel (after). A main character is so Aiden.

   He wears only black and white. When he gets angry he starts hitting things. He never opened up to any one and most of all he never trusted anyone. He is so him. But I’m not giving up on him, ill help and do whatever it takes.
 
   Self harm gets on our mind all the time and especially at times of loneliness, self harm isnt just blood and blades, it's feelings and expressions, it's how much you've been able to control yourself and how you feel. Self harm may be spiritually how you hurt yourself with your own expectations, or how you give someone the priority to hurt you because all you want to do is to shed tears, but darling you aren't able to shed them without a reason. So you go out there and search for someone who will give you a reason, you are the one who let them do it. Self harm wasnt once accepted and won't be because if it's your soul, your body, or anyone else. It Matters.

  I went to sleep around 1:00 am, I slept well this time with no tension in my body or stress. Just me, my thoughts, and my bracelet.