The Dreamer

ONE - The Celebrity and The Loser

[SHIN'S POV]

Date: March 9, 2011

Weather: Cold

He never know my existence.

Right here, right now, he never know why am I standing in this corner of the universe waiting for a miracle to happen.

When will he see me?

When will he notice me?

I am just an ordinary highschool student; he is a member of school student council.

I can't even join a cheerleading squad; he is the MVP of the school's basketball team.

Everyone adores him like a celebrity; here I am being hated like a loser.

I am nothing while he's everything you could imagine.

Yes.

He's everything a girl could wish for.

Yes.

His name is Y--

"Oh, look at that, you're writing again," Jennie said as she snatched the notebook I am writing on.

"And who is this guy you drew here? He kinda looks like... hm, let me think," she added, literally annoying me.

"Woah, starts with letter Y. Is it for Yohan?" she teased. Bitch, I don't even know who the fuck is Yohan.

I tried to reach the paper but she raised her arm higher. I am taller than her and I can get it in an instant. The problem is that, she started to throw it to my other classmates and started doing their shits.

I know most of you guys heard that the students in the SSC are smart and know about proper etiquette. Well, I'm telling you, not all.

Some of them are rude.

Some of them are very fool of themselves.

Yes, you got it right. This classroom sucks, and the people inside it suck more.

I just let them do their thing and sat down in my chair.

My phone vibrated.

'You're a flirt. Shame on you.'

Nothing's new. It's the usual greeting I always receive anyway.

And if you will be asking why they are doing this to me, I'm sorry I can't answer your question well. I don't even know the reason.

Why am I letting them? Simple. I am sick and tired.

I went outside the classroom and immediately entered a cubicle. I am really not a soft one, but here I am now, tears rolling down on my cheeks already.

I heard the other door opened.

"Can't you believe that? Shin has a sugar daddy," the girl said. I guess she's Jennie's no. 1 supporter.

"What do you expect from a flirt like her? She has lots of boyfriends tho. A total yuck."

"But I thought she's a lesbian."

"Well, that was only a for a show... like, you kn--"

I opened the door and they were shocked as I seen their faces on the mirror. I fixed my hair and slowly walked out of the comfort room when I bumped with someone who didn't even say sorry. Someone whose name is Min Yoongi.

"Good morning. Ha--" I greeted but he just walked away ignoring me. That's totally annoying and at the same time, painful. The students around me who witnessed the coldness between us smirked. It's funny how people really hate me.

I continued walking to my classroom, but immediately turned around when I heard my teacher starting our lesson. I am so late so maybe, I will just go to the library and read some books.

"Shin looks innocent and disciplined outside, but inside she is a total whore," I heard from someone. Wow. I don't even know them but they know my name. I am so sure they skipped the class just to criticize me. Fuck this world. It knows how extravagant my existence is. Funny how tough I am but I can't even save myself from bullying. Like, it's been happening for a year? Yes.

When I returned home, I immediately ran towards my bed and curled myself into a ball. I turned on the radio and listened to music. It always goes like this. Everyday is a repetition of Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V. I'm tired. I'm tired already.

I tried to dial Yoongi's number but it was busy. Oh, I forgot. He already deleted my number, right? He did. He did like we didn't know each other for years.

I still remember...

"Don't you want me to help you?" I asked. We were in the middle of the street, 7:15 in the evening, as I was trying to offer help for his upcoming project.

"No. I'd rather be alone. It's easier this way," he replied. I admit I was hurt.

"So ---"

"Yes, I don't need you! So please leave me alone!" he shouted as he pushed me away from him and left me there hanging.

That was one year ago, but the second he shouted at me and pushed me away from him is still fresh on my mind.

Just how come?

Just how come he is treating me this way like I never existed at all in his life?

I closed my eyes as tears roll down my cheeks again.

I pulled my diary under my pillow and wrote something.

Why you didn't greet me back? I just want to say, "Good morning. Happy Birthday. Please be happy."