The Dreamer

TWENTY-SEVEN - What A Nightmare Part 2

He fell silent. The surprise in his eyes is obvious. Well, that's the most painful paragraph he heard from me, for the first time. I was surprised to say those words, too.

He walked towards me, but I walked backwards--away from his dangerous persona.

"You know what? I hate you so much," he suddenly muttered.

Tears streamed down on my cheeks. It was so painful to hear, even if it's not the first time to hear that from him.

"I know," I almost whispered, but loud enough for him to hear. "You always get my heart broken," I added.

The look in his eyes changed to something I used to know. The kind, calm, and caring look.

"Don't give me that look," I told him. "I don't know you anymore so stop giving me that look so I could completely forget about you."

He take one more step closer to me. His eyes were fierce.

I stepped backwards, and realized I am falling down from the darkness.

I shouted as hard as I could, and I just stopped when a not-so-gentle slap reached my cheek.

"Shin-ah, Shin-ah, wake up! Wake up. "

"Dad?" I muttered. My voice was shaky.

"You're having a nightmare. Here's a glass of milk to calm you down."

I took the glass of milk and started to drink it. I closed my eyes while patting my chest. The dream, no, definitely not a dream but a nightmare instead, feels so real.

"Did you have a nightmare?" my Father asked. "You look so terrible awhile ago."

"I did," I answered.

He observed me like he is still looking to a 7 year old girl.

"Dad, I want to be alone now."

He stood up and patted my head gently.

"I'll leave now. Don't forget to pray, okay?"

I just nodded.

When he closed the door, I immediately reached my diary.

I miss him so much that even in my nightmares, he appears.

Even in nightmares, he gives me pain.

And I am too stupid to say it's okay.