The Dreamer

ELEVEN - The Buttons

 I went home with a smile. Today is a happy day. I feel so light and important.

"Yoongi came here awhile ago," my Father said while we were eating our dinner. "He left something in your room."

If I say I am not that excited to see that thing, I am a liar. So I went in my room as fast as I could just to see what he left there. I found nothing but a single button on my table.

"Like, really Yoongi?" I asked myself.

I sat down in my chair and reminisce something on my head.

March 23, 2004 (Kindergarten Graduation Day)

"What's with that green thing hanging on your neck?" Yoongi asked. "Those candies look delicious by the way."

"Mother made me this. In my country, Philippines, it is a tradition to wear this necklace full of candies during your Kindergarten Graduation," I told him while giving it to him. "There, you're now wearing it since you didn't experience it."

He smiled his gummy smile and thanked me. He is really cute.

"Lina! Lina!" my Father suddenly shouted from the back of our house. He sounds so nervous and trembling.

"THE NIPA HUT IS ON FIRE! DO NOT GO HERE!"

Everybody was panicking and doesn't know what to do. Our neighbors were getting their pails of water and trying their best to help my Father and Grandfather to shut down the big fire.

I was only six years old back then so definitely, I was crying hard. That nipa hut is the place where I usually play Yu-Gi-Oh cards with Yoongi. That small nipa hut is the place where we built big dreams. That nipa hut is the place where my hamsters live. I really feel like I am dying from sadness.

I tried to run to the burning nipa hut to save my hamsters but there was Yoongi who refrained me. He was so strong my white dress was ripped from the back and the button flew away. I cried harder.

"Ya! What have you done?! This is my one and only dress and you ripped it!" I yelled, tears running down on my face. "Don't follow me! I will save my hamsters!"

"Shin! No!" he shouted. "Shin!"

My Father was signing me not to go nearer and everything will be okay. But no, it's too late. The fire is really big there is no chance that my hamsters are still alive. I suddenly feel weak that I didn't realize there is a burning wood from above to be fallen down on me but again, there was Yoongi. There was Yoongi who saved me.

He carried me from his back and brought me in their house. He gave me a glass of milk because he knows that milk cheers me up.

"Raise your hands," he said. "Wear this shirt. You might catch a cold for exposing your back."

"It's your fault anyway," I told him. "Ah, what do I do? The nipa hut... my hamsters..." I was reminded again and begun to sob.

"They say your Grandfather was trying to burn the ants in the nipa hut when the fire happened."

"So it is Grandfather's fault?"

"No. Nobody is at fault," he answered. "No one knows that it will cause a big fire."

"My hamsters..."

"Do not cry. Everything will be okay," he said patting my head. "Here, your button."

He was giving me the button from my dress but I didn't accept it. Instead, I gave it back to him.

"I won't wear this dress anymore. This will only trigger a bad memory. You can keep the button. It will serve as your goodluck charm."

"I don't believe in luck, Shin. I believe more in hardwork and determination."

"Just... keep that. That will be the symbol that you saved me."

He smiled again. "Okay. I will never give it back to you then, which means I am now holding your life."

"Let's do that."

And now he's giving it back to me, which means, he is now setting me free.

I searched for the box under my table and put the button there. I have now two buttons. Cool. Let me think first how I can return the button he gave me during my entrance exam.

Or maybe I should just throw this in my trashcan since he is really trying his best to cut our ties.

Not helping me to stand up, not walking home with me, avoiding me in school, acts like he doesn't know me at all.

And maybe, just maybe, he doesn't want to hold my life anymore.