The Dreamer

TWENTY-NINE - Heartbreak and Frustrations Part 2

I just saw Min Yoongi's back from here. His hair is a total mess and even the way he walks never change.

I wanted to call his name, but a girl approached him and gave him a bottle of water. I stopped for a moment. It's not Jennie this time or Lisa. It's a different girl. The prettiest girl I have seen here in the campus so far. Could it be...

I walked as fast as I could and followed them as they walk their way together to the gymnasium. Why here? I have no idea.

I hid myself away from them, and since the gymnasium is empty, it's okay to speak louder. That way, I would be able to hear them.

"I heard it," the girl said. "Everything."

Yoongi didn't speak. He is just looking at her.

There is this one question on my head that keeps on appearing. Could it be... her? Was she the girl Yoongi talking about on his confession that aired the other night on the radio?

"Now that I knew the reason why you acted like that, I want us to be together again," she added.

Wait, what? Together again?

Yoongi looked away. I couldn't tell if he was happy or what. She's his first girlfriend after all.

"Don't tell me you love that girl," she said. "That girl codenamed Mitsui."

I was surprised. So she heard my confession too and figured everything out in one sitting?

Yoongi tried to step away but she held his hand and hugged him from the back. The scene was so dramatic I could enter and kill the both of them.

"Mitsui...." he said slowly. "... is my nothing in particular."

The bomb exploded.

The coast is not clear.

But I continued running and running and running though I don't have an idea where would be my destination.

Why?

Why is it this painful to hear those words from him? Why it keeps playing on my mind. Why is it this painful to see him being hugged by another girl? Why is it this painful to hear him that I am just nothing to him?

After all that we've been through, am I just a trash?

I continued running until I fell down with my head forward. This is more frustrating than I thought.

I sat on the ground as my mouth creates crying noises. My wounds were bleeding but the pain is nothing compared to what I am feeling inside. My heart literally broke. How could I even stand on my own? Where is the strong me?

"Ya, you really are heavy. I don't deserve this punishment!" I complained. Here I am now walking in the middle of the field while carrying him on my back.

"Just because I'm chubby doesn't mean I'm heavy," he replied in a slurred manner.

"Then what?"

"You're just malnourished."

"Ya! Don't call me malnourished! I am just skinny!"

"What's being skinny if you're weak? You're unhealthy. You don't even eat the snacks I put in your locker!"

I stayed silent just to absorb his words. Really, he's really good at it. He's really good stealing snacks from our sari-sari store and put it in my locker.

"You want me to deliver mango cupcake again in your locker?" he asked.

I smiled. "You do that."

Oh God, I miss him.

I miss him so much.

Who would have thought that the chubby guy I used to carry on my back doesn't know me anymore?

Who would have thought that the small guy who used to put cupcake in my locker doesn't care about those memories at all?

Why?

Why God?

Why did You let him grow up and be taller and be thinand fell inlove with someone else?