[COMPLETED] soft boy//phan (1)

Thirty

dan

i was going to be with a split family this christmas. i didn't want that, but it's what my father decided to do, he decided to leave and split all family holidays so that it was just me and my drunken mother with whatever 'boyfriend' she brought home today. i think it's henry, if i'm lucky.

"so, are you going to help with the tree this year?" mother asked, bringing the boxes of ornaments into the living room and setting them down next to my feet.

last year i hid inside my room the whole christmas season, letting my father and mother do all the decorating themselves. at the time i just wanted them to bond together since they were arguing and small talk bickering every chance they got. now i know that it was just an act of laziness and that was probably one of the reasons they left each other.

"y-yeah, i'll do all of it by myself, you go have fun with henry." i said, trying the bitterness of his name on my lips.

mother leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, "thank you, dan."

i smiled back at her grimly and watched her skip back into the kitchen where henry was sitting down on a stool. he grabbed her narrow hip and pulled her close, setting a loud kiss on her temple and making her giggle echo off the walls. my stomach churned and i turned over to the boxes again, closing my eyes until they started to hurt.

i opened one of the boxes and was met with smaller boxes that held one ornament in each. i took the top box and slid it open, staring at the blank white snowflake that was in my hands and hung it as high as i could reach.

after one hour of going through all except a handful of boxed ornaments i stood up and stretched my sore legs, letting the deep rush of blood finally power through them again. i turned and saw mum taking some form of pan from the oven and setting it on the stove, laughing at a joke henry told her but i couldn't hear her.

"i'm almost finished." i said and shoved my hands inside the pockets of my worn out overalls.

"that's good, daniel. what's all left?" mum clutched my shoulders and looked over my shoulder at the empty boxes.

"just one small box, i can finish it after dinner. say, what is for dinner?" i asked.

mum giggled and smiled widely, "henry's favorite, roast beef."

mum knew i hated roast beef. i've told her that on every single holiday ever when she wanted to make it. she knew she knew she knew.

"i'm going upstairs to wash up." i said and sped around on my heel, stomping up the stairs, but quiet enough that mum couldn't hear how pissed i was.

i closed my door and tried not to bust my foot right through it. how long was henry going to be around for? three more days. how long have i been around for? eighteen fucking years. i thumped over to the closet and opened it, the doors banging off the walls making one of my picture frames to fall and shatter.

i grabbed a satchel bag and stuffed a mint green sweater inside and grabbed a pair of rose leggings, stuffing a beanie and gloves inside along with a flashlight, extra batteries and a book.

i spun around and grabbed my white trench coat from the chair it was hanging from and put it on, running over to my window before anyone hearing me making a huge ruckas up here.

i twisted the locks and pushed up with all of my strength but there was no success. i tried again and again and again but it didn't move a centimeter.

i screamed and trudged over to the closet again, grabbing the baseball bat that was hidden in the corner, walking back over to the window and swinging the bat over my shoulder.

did i really want to do this? no. was i furious? yes. at what? i didn't know.

i swung down.

the shatter of the glass breaking and hitting the floor in small pieces made the whole room shake. mum and henry surely heard that. i threw the bat on the floor and grabbed my bag that was set on my desk and leaped through, and into the cold air.

i carefully made my way around the few pieces of glass that made their way onto the roof instead of my room and slid down the porch pole. waiting to hear if there was movement inside my room.

"daniel? daniel james howell what is going on?! daniel?!" that was my mum's voice.

i smiled faintly as i turned around and ran, ran until my heart was in my throat and my knees were going to snap in half. i was somewhere familiar, but somewhere i rarely went to. it was a cul de sac of shops, like a clothing shop, coffee shop, pet store and more places i wasn't comfortable entering.

i went into the coffee shop, the feeling of relieveness rushing over me as i stepped inside and warmth hugged me. it was empty meaning it was close to close.

"dan?"

"hey, phil." i turned around to meet the familiar blue eyes boy.

"what are you doing here? it's eleven at night." he said and came around the corner in a coffee stained apron. guess he worked here.

"just some teen angst bullshit."

he pulled a puzzled expression.

"i ran away for the night."

"dan, you can't do that. you need to go home."

"i don't want to be home." i stepped closer to him.

"what happened for you to run away?" he questioned, also stepping forward, slowly closing the gap between us.

"my mum and dad divorced, causing my mum to become alcoholic and get new boyfriends each week. this week his name is henry and he loves roast beef, which my mum made for us tonight. i hate roast beef but what pissed me off most is that my mum knows that and she just met henry like what? five days ago?" i explained.

phil didn't answer, then he laughed.

"what?! you think this is funny?!" i angrily crossed my arms.

"no, i think that you taking roast beef seriously is hilarious, now let's go." he pulled my hand out of the door and to a red car.

"this is yours?" i ran my hand over the clean rims.

"yeah, got it last year. hop in we're going to my place." i smiled at his comment.

-

the car ride to phil's was fun, we sang along to troye sivan and panic! at the disco, you can never forget the exclamation mark.

he lead me up to his room and set my bag down next to the door inside.

"this is my room." he flung his arms out and twirled, plunging himself down on the bed.

i laughed, taking in the light green walls and the hardwood floor. he had a blue and green comforter that looked like mine but happier? he had a bookshelf full of comics and books with action figures stacked on top. he also had a desk with a macbook on it and a lamp along with some papers that were most likely school work.

i looked back to him and saw that he was motioning to his bed, patting the space next to him. i kicked off my shoes and took the seat next to him under the covers.

"wanna know something crazy phil lester?"

"what daniel howell."

"je t'aime."

and then he pulled me under the sheets.

(Bleck what a shitty ending lmao. Winter break is almost over so I thought I should update something while I was on break. Also the translate is 'I love you' it's supposed to be french but I don't take french in school, I take spanish, so I just looked it up on google translate.)