[COMPLETED] soft boy//phan (1)

Thirty-Two

(If you could please vote that would be really helpful because my vote rates are d r o p p i n g)

phil

"phil you slut." chris laughed after i told him about what happened between me and dan over the weekend.

"shut up! i am not a slut!" i raised my voice, clutching the gaming controller in my hands tighter, making my sweaty hands start sleeping.

"better watch your voice, your pretty boy is sleeping in the room over." chris motioned with his head and smirked.

"no one gets to call him pretty except for me."

"alright."

there was a moment of silence between us. it was normal i guess, whenever we played call of duty like this. there would be some sort of argument, silence, or just pure laughter. that's how me and chris were together. 

"do you know why he likes to wear the things he does?," chris asked, "i mean i'm not judging him it's just i've never seen a man dress in girl clothes before unless they were transgender."

"are you transphobic?" i shot him a glare without turning to him.

"n-no. i j-just wanted to know the reason." chris said, getting flustered.

i laughed, lifting my hand to rub it through his hair, "don't get your bunchies in a bist. i was just kidding."

"bunchies in a bist." chris echoed, making fun of my word choice.

"hey! don't make fun of me! it's what dan says."

there was another silence that made me want to shove a raw egg down my throat.

"w-when did you find out you loved h-him? and boys?" chris asked. i looked over to him and he looked uneasy. i tried to pass it out as like i didn't hear him; like i was focused on the game more than i was for life.

"maybe a few years ago. you and peej were sleeping over at my place. you were knocked out around ten and it ended up with me and peej just talking about random things, deep things. he randomly picked out the topic of loving people and he told me he's always wanted to be in a relationship with a boy, and i admitted to wanting one also," 

i released the breath i didn't know i was holding in, "after that he asked if i wanted to date him because that same night he admitted to liking me, loving me. i was speechless, i didn't want to say anything. thank god we were laying down and facing away from each other because i don't know what would have happened if i said yes."

"wow, damn." chris was speechless. expected. his voice sounded croaky, like he was about to cry.

"are you going to cry, momma's boy?" i teased, pausing the game we were playing and poked him in the side.

"t-that wasn't fair. h-how could you leave him hanging like that? did you not have the courage to say no! of course you didn't, but you could at least let him down nicely! given him a sad smile or something but what you did probably tore his heart out! how could you be so selfish?!" chris screamed to me.

"excuse me? i'm the selfish one?! you always want everything to be chris this or chris that! nothing is ever about anyone unless chris is always somewhere in the main center, so don't you dare say i'm the selfish one. and how come you are the one who always takes peej's side?! he doesn't even know what he's doing anymore!"

"just forget this conversation ever happened." chris wiped his snot from his nose. he was now fully crying as he slammed his controller to the floor and wizzed upwards, running out of my bedroom doorway.

"chris! wait!" i plummeted after him, slamming into the hallway and making picture frames fall from their nails. he didn't listen to me, instead he just rushed his shoes on his feet, not even bothering once to tie them.

"i'm sorry!" i yelled after him as he ran outside into the nighttime pouring rain. i tried running after him but i slipped on my own feet and fell into a puddle. i screamed when skin hit pavement and i already knew there was a huge gash on my knee. i looked back to see the street lights hitting the water that was rushing underneath my body to notice the water was taking my blood away with it.

i bit my lip as i lifted myself up off the ground and looked down, almost fainting at the sight. i'm not going to explain it but let's just say it's going to leave a lifetime scar. as i limped back to my apartment i instantly regretted everything i just said. chris and pj have been my best friends since forever and here i just portrayed them as shit. perfect.

when i got inside, leaving blood drops in my wake, i walked up the stairs. i stopped at the framed pictures that fallen when i was running and noticed the one of me and dan was cracked.

i dropped it back on the ground and retreated to the bathroom for the first aid kit.

(I know no one's going to answer this but I'm going to ask it anyways, do you want everyday updates but short chapters or long chapters but gaps in the update days?)