Ask Me How I Know

Walls Up

      "You'll push her away 'cause that's all you know how to do
And then she'll leave and you won't beg her not to go
Ask me how I know" -Ask Me How I Know- Garth Brooks   
    ××××××××
                Tobias's POV
    The urge to take those pills right now is overwhelming. I've had the same dream about Tris in different situations and its getting to my head. I don't Blane her for not wanting me last night, or sleep I here; but maybe the dream wouldn't of came if she had.  
    It's four o'clock in the morning, an hour and a half earlier than I usually wake up. I'm tired, but I know that sleep won't come. Getting up and walking to the closet, I take out training clothes. The only way I know how to get my mind off something is to take my anger off; something I got from my father.
     ××××××××
        It's been almost two hours, I'm thirsty, tired, anxious, but I can't find it in me to stop. The door to the training room opens, revealing Zeke. He sets his water down next to mine, raising his brows.
   "Shouldn't you be resting? Your not supposed to get your heart rate up too high," he tells me, crossing his arms.  
    "I can control it."
    "Yeah, cause that worked the last time; and not to mention that's not humanly possible. Shouldn't you be in bed with Tris?" He says. I shake my head, wiping sweat from my shoulders and chest.
    "She didn't stay," I tell him. His expression goes blank. "I still can't stop having the dreams...again. And it doesn't help that their about her. I'm kind of grateful she didn't stay."
    "Whys that?"
    "Cause I'm scared I would have beat her in our sleep." 
     ×××××××× 
         Both Tris and I are off work for the day, so we decided it would be nice to stay in tonight for dinner and spend time together. "You look tired," she says, taking my hand that I pull away.
    "I'm fine." It came our harsher than I meant it to. She looks down, not knowing what do say to that.
    "Shauna said you and Zeke went to the training room together. How was that?" I shrug in answer. "How'd got sleep last ni-"
    "Terrible. Can we stop talking?" I snap. Her face falls, nodding. She moved closer to me but I get up and walk to the kitchen.
    "Tobias, why are you so short answered tonight? Just last night we were all over each other, now your acting like your upset over something I did," she says. I shake my head, leanings against the refrigerator. When I don't answer she gets up and makes her way over to me. I know I promised to not keep her at distance, but I can't see another option.
    She reaches her hands up to wrap them around my neck, buy I stop her, gripping her wrists and setting them back at her sides. "I'm fine, Tris."
    "Tobias-if you were okay, then we wouldn't be having this conversta-"
    "I don't want to talk about this, or to you. There's nothing you can do about it, Stiff." Tears brim her eyes as she nods, stepping back from me.
    "Okay then," she says, walking to the couch and grabbing her bag. "I'm gonna go since you don't want to talk." I stay quick, watching as the door closes softly behind her.
   ××××××××
                   Tris's POV
    I close the door behind me, leaning against it and beginning to cry. The door to the guest room opens and my mom walks out. When she notices the tears, she jogs over to me, dropping down to her knees and hugging me close.
    "What happened?" She asks. I let out a sob.
    "I don't know."
     
                 
   
    AN: Hello everyone. Honestly, I was going to make this a happy chapter but it went another way. I FINALLY made an Instagram based around my makeup!! The username is "makeupbyvaeh". Please comment and share! Be brave 🔪🔪🔪 -Vaeh