"Can I call you Mikey?"
"No,"
"Mickey?"
"Hell no,"
"Mickey Mouse?"
"Ashton I swear to God if you don't shut your brother up I'm going to beat him to death with this very large copy of the women's health, vaginal care exclusive issue!"
Looking up from my copy if People magazine where I was trying to decide whether Ariana Grande or some tan woman with the largest butt I had ever seen, wore a bikini better, I frowned, "Harry leave Michael alone."
"How old are you?" Lauren asked him ignoring me.
"Older then you," Michael answered.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Uh, no, not at the moment."
"Why not?"
"Why do you think kid I'm in the hospital with a scaling coc...."
"Michael!" I shouted, cutting him off.
"What?" He snapped.
"Language," I chided.
Rolling his eyes, Michael tossed down the magazine he was reading and began kneading himself through his pants while Harry and Lauren watched on wide eyed.
Just as I was preparing to send them away to find some sort of snack machine a nurse walked into the room calling Michael, who's sighing in relief, rose to his feet and shuffled sheepishly and rather now leggedly after.
"Is his penis really gonna fall of?" Harry demanded in excitement as soon as Michael was out of earshot.
"Uh no, I hope not," I answered.
"Why?" Harry pressed, "he's kind of a jerk."
"Yeah he is," I agreed, "but loosing your... Uh.... You're..."
"Package?" Lauren suggested.
"Yeah," u replied, "Losing your package is just.... I don't even know I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."
"Why not?" Harry pried.
"Why are you so inquisitive?" I sighed.
Shrugging Harry reached for the magazine Michael was reading, however I snatched it from him replacing it with an ancient looking copy of Squirt, which was (not what you're assuming you nasty) some little kids magazine.
Sighing, Harry began to flip through it. Thinking everything had settled down I opened the magazine I had been reading and was about to move onto the article covering the full details of something called the Kimye wedding, when the doors to the waiting room swung open, revealing to my surprise, my Mom.
"Mom!" Harry cheered running up to her and throwing his arms around her waist.
"Harry?" She cried, "What are you doing here?"
"We could ask you the same thing," I said.
"I work here," she replied sounding exasperated.
"Would you buy it if I said we came to visit you?" I asked slowly.
"No," she answered, crossing her arms over her chest.
"We...uh...we are...."
"Ashton's friend's willy is gonna fall of so we drove him here," Lauren interupted, flipping idily through a magazine.
"What?" Mom cried, her eyes nearly popping out of her head.
"Nothing!" I said quickly, "You know Lauren, always joking.... I don't know where you come up with that stuff kid you should write a book or....
"Ash cut the crap," Mom interrupted, running her fingers through her hair in annoyance.
Looking down at the floor I sighed, "You know Michael?"
"Jackson?"
"No,"
"Myers?"
"Uh no..."
"Kors?"
"Uh what... No... Michael, you saw him the other night at our gig."
"The blonde one?"
"No the other one."
"The Asian one."
"No, Mom."
"The one with the weird hair?"
"Yeah!" I cried, "Him,"
"What about him?" She sighed.
"Well I may or may not have given him recalled foot lotion which he used to.... You know... And now he has some ratchet rash on his.... You know."
Her eyes wide, Mom looked at me with shock.
"Say something," I pleased.
"Why in God's name Ashton," she moaned, "Why would your bring Harry and Lauren?"
"You yelled at me last time," I cried, "What do you want from me?"
Pinching the bridge if her nose Mom looked at Lauren, Harry and I in turn before letting out an annoyed sigh, "You fix this Ashton, you freaking fix it."
"I will," I assured her.
Rolling her eyes she reached into her pocket removed a wad of cash which she chucked at me, with a little more gusto then necessary, "Get your brother and sister dinner," she grumbled before kissing Lauren and Harry on the head and disappearing through the door which she came.
"Well damn, she told you," Harry laughed.
"Don't swear!" I cried.
Rolling his eyes Harry reached into my lap and taking the money Mom had given me began to count it when suddenly the door swung open and a young couple stumbled through. The guy holding the hand of his girlfriend, who I realized with shock as she turned around was none other then Erin Samuels.
Stunned I watched as they sank down in a large chair, her sitting on his lap, straddling him as she kissed him rather passionately on the mouth.
"Oh God my eyes." Lauren mumbled looking away as I stared on like some kind of perv, unable to shift my gaze from the two.
"She's cheating on Michael?" I mumbled to myself.
"Wait what?" Lauren asked.
"Nothing," I replied quickly pulling out my phone and snapping several pictures of the oblivious two.
"What are you doing with those?" Lauren questioned.
"Nothing," I answered, "But I know who will."
Smirking, I texted the pictures to the person who would want them most, Niall.
A/n
This chapter absolutely sucked I know, in sorry. But I've had a horrible day today and a horrible headache and I just wanted to write something for you guys. I'll write a better one tomorrow. Sorry. <3
