"And I don't know; I guess I wish I was eighteen, so I could do the things you see in a magazine...... I'm not saying I want to be Charlie Sheen...... Are you listening?"
"Hmm?" I questioned, looking up from my report on Julius Caesar I was proof reading.
"I was talking," Luke informed me, doodling on a piece of notebook paper as we lay on our stomachs on the floor of his room.
"Sorry," I sighed, "What were you saying?"
"I don't know," Luke muttered, "It wasn't important I guess."
"Sorry," I said apologetically turning back to my paper.
"That's okay," Luke shrugged, "Hey guess what?"
"What?" I asked, setting down my pen.
"I wrote a song!" Luke gushed, pushing himself up into a sitting position, "it's about this dream I had last night about me and Charlotte! Do you want to hear it?"
"Sure," I replied.
Rising to his feet Luke ran across the room, making the floor shake and grabbing his guitar ran back, plopping down in front of me.
Clearing his throat theatrically, he began to strum the strings and after a moment started to sing what I Assumed was the chorus.
"When the lights go out,
she's all I ever think about
The picture burning in my brain
kissin in the rain
I can't forget my English love affair
Today, I'm seven thousand miles away
The movie playin in my head
Of her king size bed
Means I can't forget my
English love affair."
"Uh..... That's really good Luke," I started to say however was cut off as he started a verse.
"Next thing we were back at
her place
A hideaway in Mayfair all
the great and good there
Drinking all the way to third
base
Princess getting naked
Falling on their faces
The story line was so ridiculous
Every single step had me beggin'
for the next
Before I knew it, it was serious
Dragged me up the stairs and it
wasn't ending there."
"Oh yes it better be ending there young man!"
Letting out a strangled, high pitched yelp Luke whirled around to find Liz standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and a look of disbelief and anger covering her face."
"Hi Mommy," Luke said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.
"Don't hi Mommy me," she snapped, "What in Gods name were you just singing."
"I don't know," Luke admitted, "I'm toying with the titles Luke Hemmings rated X sexy Sex ballad or English love affair, I'm not sure which yet."
"Luke Robert Hemmings!" She cried, "How do you even know about this stuff?"
"I don't watch porn," Luke answered robotically, "Or read smut."
Biting the inside of her cheek, Liz looked up at the ceiling as if begging for patience before turning back to Luke who was chewing on his lower lip nervously.
"Do what you want Luke," she finally sighed, "You are seventeen, but. If I ever hear you say the words third base, princess getting naked, or you talking about going upstairs and not ending it there, I'm bathing you in holy water, putting a purity ring on every finger and I'll start buying you real pants, with belts, instead of those paint on leggings things, am I clear?"
"Yes....." Luke said slowly, "Wait no, so is it a yes on the porn or....."
"Luke!" She cried, "I don't want to know about what you do in your private time just....... Ugh...... Don't let me hear about it again."
