I'M SORRY (Daniel-André Tande)

Part 10

10.

Feeling completed again was relieving, Stefan was everything I needed in mylife. When I woke up in the morning and saw his face I couldn't help myself and smiled. In the morning I was the happiest girl on the planet. He was a part of me, he was a part of my heart. It didn't matter to me how much it hurt everything last night, I was finally living in the moment and not in the past.

"You can't prove this! She's finally happy and you want to ruin this all again. Didn't we put her through enough of pain, Markus? She's finally happy and I won't let you ruin that," I heard Andi saying.

I was standing in front of his doors, they were open so I heard a little bit of conversation he and Markus had. I decided to eavesdrop a little bit because the discussion was about me.

"How can you do this to your own sister? You're letting her pushing herself in a relationship because she just wants to prove everyone that she's over Daniel," Markus said. That wasn't true, I wasn't pushing myself into a relationship with Stefan. Or was I?

"Stop Markus, she's happy with Stefan. How can you not see this? Are you blind? I know she's rushing a little bit but I don't care until she'shappy. I'm happy because she's happy and she's happy with Stefan, so we're all happy," Andi explained to Markus. I decided not to let this conversation to go any farther so I just went inside.

"Hello," I said when I came in. They both stared at me like I'd be a ghost. I waited for few seconds and then spoke again.

"It's me Sophia. Sophia Wellinger, I don't have a middle name at least not that I'd know," I said trying to make them smile a little bit and I succeeded.

"Hey, sis," Andi said and hugged me. It was a little bit awkward because I had no idea how much did he know about me and Stefan.

"I should go," Markus said and walked past us. I saw how he looked at Andi with that 'I'm watching you' look

"I missed you, too, Eisenbichler," I yelled behind him, I heard how he laughed a little bit to himself but he didn't come back.

"So, what are you doing here?" Andi asked me and went to close the doors after Markus. I threw myself onto his bed and closed my eyes a little bit.

"Get of my bed," Andi said and tried to push me down.

"No, please Andi. Just a little bit," I tried to convince him, he gave up and just laid down beside me

"How did you sleep?" he asked. I started to laugh and he punched me in my shoulder a little.

"You never asked me that in my whole life, Andi," I said while laughing at him. Then he started to laugh with me.

"No, I'm serious how did you sleep or whatever you did, you know?" he asked me. He was so awkward talking to me about those things and I had no idea why he was talking to me about that.

"I have a best friend that I can tell the story. For you is enough to know that it was great," I said not trying to think about how Andi would imagine that.

"How are you doing?" he asked with his serious tone. He was asking me about the Danny thing and I was glad he wasn't pretending like that it never happened.

"I'm good. I'm really good. I guess I could be better but for now good is enough for me," I said to him.

When I was with Andi I wasn't being me anymore. Pretending not to love Danny when I was around him was hard. Even though I loved Stefan, I couldn't deny I didn't love Danny more because after all he was the one that stole my heart first, the one that made me feel worth and loved first, the one that was mine first.

"If someone would hurt you in any way. You'd tell me, right?" he suddenly asked me. I looked into his eyes and nodded.

"I may can't decide who I love more or with who I want to be. But I can assure you that no one will ever take your place in my heart. Having a brother like you is a privilege and I know that if something happens I can come to you, no matter what. After all, you're my little brother," I said to him. He hugged me and kissed me on my head.

"Before you came me and Markus were talking about you," Andi started. I didn't want to have secrets from him so I just confessed.

"I know. I heard and I'm sorry for eavesdropping but I couldn't help myself," I confessed to him

"I need to ask you. Do you have a feeling you're pushing yourself too much?" he asked me and I looked away from him.

"Last night with Stefan was the best night of my life. In months I didn't feel as loved as I felt last night. I may be pushing myself or not. But I know that Stefan makes me happy and for now that's enough for me. I know that maybe in the future not everything will be so shinny but I'm living in a present. I'm happy and I'm not sorry," I explained to him. I felt how tears came into my eyes but I didn't let them fall. I was happy and I wasn't sorry for being happy.

"I'm glad that you're finally happy and if Stefan makes you happy for now do what you want. But you need to know when you'll need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here," he said and I hugged him tight.

That were our confessions. We both loved and we both lost. We both found and we both loved again.

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A/N

Hey,

so I'm sad that today's competition in Bad Mitterndorf was cancelled because I was really looking forward to see Danny (and all of the others) flying again. Especially after yesterday.

Congrats to yesterday's winner Andreas Stjernen and of course to Danny (2nd place) and Simon Ammann (3rd place). I'm really happy about Peter being in the top 10 again and for the other Slovenian jumpers too. I hope Anders will jump better in Oberstdorf next weekend because he's a really good flyer.

It was a little bit bad ending sadly Johann and Jernej were disqualified after second run so they were on 30th and 29th place but they'll get their chances again on Thursday.

Who's your favourite ski-jumper/team?

Thank you all for reading,

A. S. T.