I'M SORRY (Daniel-André Tande)

Part 18

18.

In the end the hardest thing we had to do was to think how could Danny leave my room without anybody seeing him. I wasn't okay with letting him go but I had to. I had a boyfriend. A boyfriend that came to the hotel while I was cheating on him. And I hated myself for doing it.

I had intention to tell Stefan but I needed to clear everything in my head. Because probably the first thing that Stefan was going to ask me was going to be 'did it mean anything to you?' and I had no idea if it meant anything to me.

I was reading my book when someone knocked on my doors. I got up and went to open them. It was Andi. He seemed angry, pissed on someone. He came in without a word or even looking at me.

"Hello to you too," I said and closed the doors after him. I went to him. He was standing beside my bed with his back turned to me.

"I saw Danny leaving your room," he finally said. It took me a minute to realize what he just said but I had no idea what to respond.

"I need to know if you did it. Please say you didn't do it. Please just say that you didn't do it," he started talking again.

I stopped listening at one moment and just fell on my knees. I felt how Andi caught me and put me on my bed but I didn't say anything. Andi knew. He knew what I did. He knew.

"I'm sorry," I whispered

He kissed me on my forehead and hugged me.

"I can't say it's okay because it's not. But I can say that you need to tell him as soon as possible," he whispered to me. He was right I needed to tell Stefan as soon as it was possible.

Just as I wanted to say something someone knocked on the doors. Andi went to open them. I recognized the voice. Stefan. I heard how Andi left the room, giving me and Stefan some privacy. Stefan came to bed and hugged me

"Hey, babe. You okay?" he asked me, I slowly nodded and turned around to look at him.

His brown chocolate eyes were shinning and I felt guilty for even looking at them.

"I love you. I really really do love you," I said and got up. I sat on the bed and he sat beside me.

"I love you, too, babe. I love you too," he whispered. I buried my face in my hands to stop the tears from falling.

"I'm sorry. I really am sorry. I know you need to think about everything right now but I am sorry," I said with my voice shaking

"What happened Sophia? Why are you sorry?" he asked me, I looked at him, into his eyes. I got lost in them, it was like drowning into chocolate.

"I went to dinner when my mother showed up. You know the one that gave birth to me? She wanted to talk to me about something. I refused her and she slapped me. She wanted to do it again but then Danny came and told her to back off. I almost passed out in the elevator so he helped to my room. I told him about my mother because he deserved to know. After that everything happened so fast, he kissed me and.... I'm sorry Stefan. I'm so sorry," I said with tears scrolling down my cheeks.

He looked away, down. He didn't look at me anymore. Now he buried his face in his hands. He was thinking. Finally he spoke again but he didn't look at me.

"I'm not going to ask you if it meant anything to you because I know you. I know that you have no idea if it meant anything. I want you to leave me alone," he said. My world fell apart, I didn't want to lose him, not in that way.

"Stefan, please," I said, still crying. He stood up and I took his hand. He pulled it away.

"I want you to leave me alone for a few days. I need to think about everything. I'll talk to you when I'll be ready," he said and left my room.

I was there alone crying on my bed. Thinking how to survive this life. Thinking how to forget everything. I didn't know how much time passed by but at some point I was gone.

I woke up early in the morning. The sun was just rising. I was in my pajama. Andi was here, he took care of me. I got up and took a quick shower. After that I dressed up in my favourite jeans and a simple shirt. I did my usual make up and curled my hair. I went out to the balcony. It was still fresh outside and there was nobody outside.

I went back inside and put on my shoes and jacket. I went outside to think about things that happened in past 24 hours. I went for a walk to a park that was close to the hotel. There was no sign of any human being in the park. I was walking on the path when I saw the first person. He was sitting on a bench beside the lake and was throwing stones into it. I stopped and watched him for a few minutes.

"You have two options, you can leave or you can come to sit beside me. Just stop watching me because it's kind of creepy," Stefan said

I decided for the option number two and went to sit beside him. We didn't talk, he was still throwing stones into the lake. It was kind of annoying.

"He saved your life four times. Four times. But I didn't do anything. I never saved your life," he said, I heard in his voice that he was feeling guilty

"If it weren't for you I'd jump of the balcony before he'd come. Besides you were the one that helped me get through this things. If it weren't for you I'd kill myself before he'd be able to breathe from the last time," I said and started throwing stones into the water like he did before.

"I want you in my life. I need you in my life. But I'm not sure if you want me in yours," he said and stopped throwing stones into the lake

"I want you in my life more than you can imagine," I said and threw a little stone into him. He caught it without even looking at it.

"So that's it? Are we always going to solve problems like this? I want you to kiss me right now right here without saying anything," he said and laughed a little bit.

I didn't say anything, I just went closer and kissed me on his lips. They were soft and wet or maybe they weren't wet maybe it was just because it started raining.

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A/N

Do I really have to write anything?

I guess I just need to mention Nika's 3rd place. Let's just not talk about Danny pulling a Tande, again.

Thanks for reading,

A. S. T.