I'M SORRY (Daniel-André Tande)

Part 1

1.

"Sophia?" I heard Andy, he was whispering. I didn't answer because I couldn't let him control my life.

"Sophia?!" he asked again, he was angry and he didn't whisper anymore. I turned around and looked at him. His hands were in his pockets and he was looking at me.

"What?" I asked him, not looking at him, staring at the wall.

"You are going with us to the dinner, I'm not going to watch you destroying yourself," he said and pulled me behind himself. Markus followed us and locked my room.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked him, not looking at him

"Because I don't want you to follow Julia's steps," he said, his voice wasn't soft. That topic was closed for him and I didn't want to know what would happen if I'd ask him again.

The dinner was bad. Everyone was wondering who am I. I was wondering that too. Andy didn't talk to me whole dinner, maybe he was afraid that someone will recognize me by my voice. He didn't hurt me, someone else did. Danny. Was she really more beautiful than I am? Danny hurt me, he already had a new girlfriend. She was sitting beside him and they were both smiling. I was asking myself if he really didn't recognize me. Markus was trying to distract me from looking at him, I was glad he cared for me. Because in last few months nobody did. Markus was the one that first ended the dinner, he was in a rush because he was afraid I'll break down and so he took me with him upstairs. I closed myself in the room and cried. I threw myself on the bed and didn't let anyone else in. I had enough of everything, I just wanted to go home. Or maybe end up like Julia, I just needed the pain to stop. At one point I realized what I promised myself few months ago. I promised myself that I'll dedicate my life to ballet, I opened my suitcase and looked for point shoes. I looked at them, they stayed with me through the darkest times when nobody else did. I hugged them and laid down again, still hugging them. I closed my eyes and tried to forget everything and at one point I was gone.

"Do you think she's still sleeping?" I heard someone whispering, I recognized the voice. It was from my dear brother that didn't care for me last night.

"Get out," I said, not looking at him and somebody who he was talking to.

"Are you okay?" I heard him again, his voice was soft and it felt like he really cared

"I don't know," I whispered and turned around to look at him, he was sitting on the bed and Markus was standing beside him.

"Thank you," I said to Markus and he nodded like it was nothing. He was really nice.

"We're going training. Are you going to be okay?" Andy asked me and I nodded once. He kissed me on my head and then they left.

I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't. I got up and dressed. I did my usual make up and tried to cover red eyes. I wasn't hungry so I didn't go to breakfast. I was starting to think if he ever loved me or was everything just a game. Was he playing with me all the time I thought he loved me? Wasn't I good enough? I didn't realize that I started crying again until someone started to wipe the tears away.

"It's okay," I heard a voice, Andy. I looked at him, his eyes were calm, full of love. I hugged him so tight.

"Do you want to go out a little bit?" he asked me and I nodded.

I fixed my make up and put on my jacket. We were lucky and didn't meet Danny. Andy showed me around and told me everything he knew about Hinzenbach. He was trying to cheer me up and it was kind of working. He was playing a role of big brother even though he was younger than me. He became a new person, he wasn't the same person like yesterday. He cared about me, after an hour we went back to the hotel. He was holding my hand like he was afraid I'll run away. We weren't that lucky like before and we met Danny and his girlfriend, Andy said hi and Danny did too. I stayed quiet because I was afraid I'd break down. Andy pulled me inside as soon as he could and took me to my room.

"I need to get ready for the game," was all he said and left me standing there not knowing what happened. I closed the door behind him still confused.

I decided that I'll go to the game because I need to support Andy and his team. I dressed up and straighten up my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror. Did I change so much? My hair that used to be brown was now blue and I changed my style. I started to dress more edgy. It's not the best that I'm not girly anymore because I'm training ballet and a ballerina with blue hair is not something you see everyday. It wasn't that much I changed on me. I went outside and locked the room. I left the hotel and went to the direction Andy showed me before.

"Hey," I heard a voice suddenly, it was the girl that Danny was dating. She was standing behind me.

"Hey," I replied and looked at her. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, she was beautiful. More beautiful than I am.

"I'm Melissa. Daniel's girlfriend," she introduced herself to me and smiled to me.

"Sophia. Andy's sister," I said and waited for an opportunity to ran away from her.

"You're going to the game?" she asked me again and started walking. I joined her because I really had no other choice.

"I am," I said already being annoyed by her presence. I felt sorry for her because he'll left her one day just like he left me. Or maybe he won't because he loves her and he just didn't love me.