Runaway (ereri)

Chapter 5

A/N just a heads up, there is will be some self-harm, and eating disorders in this story. You have been warned.

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Levi's pov

Did he just do what I think he did? You've got to be kidding me. I couldn't tell what he took from that bag, but I had a pretty good Idea of what it was. Was this kid on drugs?

That might explain his health problems, but I don't know, maybe there's more to it than that. It could be medication. Right?

I decided not to mention what I may or may not have seen to Hanji and Erwin, because they may be nice, but they would definitely throw him out, faster than you can say 'druggie'. I wasn't planning on doing that again.

Eren returned a few minutes later, carefully placing himself back onto my leather couch, and picking up the probably luke-warm soup off of the coffee table.

He almost looked like he was scowling at it, at each individual spoonful that passed his lips. This kid is fucking weird. I guess I have no room to talk, but it doesn't change facts.

Where did this kid even come from anyway? I can't believe I let my conscience win this completely out-the-window idea.

Why would I let this brat into my house? have I gone insane?
I haven't really had a chance to talk to him, since my little hero act earlier.

I ruffled my damp hair, before debating whether or not to initiate conversation. That doesn't really sound like me. But this is kind of awkward, just sitting here watching the kid eat his soup silently.

Internally groaning, I decide against myself, and decide to speak to the guy. "How are you feeling Eren? Any better?" that was pretty simple.

He looked up from his soup, and met my eyes, before speaking. He had really, really pretty eyes. Then I heard Hanji's voice, snapping me out of my little trance.

"What'd you say brat?
"I said, 'I'm doing okay, thanks. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble, I'm just a burden, and I don't even know you yet, god, I'm sorry!" he dropped his gaze back to the mug In his hands.

He apologizes too much.
"Quit saying sorry, kiddo. If it
really burdened me that much, I wouldn't have done it, okay?" Christ, I talk to him like a father would. I really need to work on that.

He's probably not that young. Right? he looks.. maybe twenty? I'm twenty three, so yeah, that's a little creepy to treat him like that.

"Where do you live, Eren? I can take you home, if you want." I tried to sound polite, but it pretty much sounded the same as always. Stoic.

Oh well, everyone has their flaws.
"Well actually, I'm still searching... for a home.." He trailed off. I felt like he was about to say something else, but he closed his mouth, and after waiting a little while, I realized he wasn't going to share.

Ugh.
"So you're homeless? Did you just get here from somewhere?" I've got to admit, this kid has caught my interest, albeit because he must be stupid to not have made living arrangements prior to coming here, especially given his condition.

He has prominent dark circles under his beautiful eyes. His face almost looked a little sunken in, like he hadn't slept in weeks. This is stupid. I'm not worried about this guy. Not at all.
Dammit.

"You can stay here for a little bit, while you search, I guess. I know of an apartment complex down the street a little ways, that you can move into pretty quickly. I used to live there actually. It's not bad."

"Really? That's great! Are you sure that's okay? I mean.." The man trailed off again. "I never say something I don't mean. You'll do good to learn that quickly. Sooner rather than later."

This dude really needs some confidence. He stutters, and makes awkward eye contact when he speaks, like he's unsure what to do, even in a basic conversation with another human being.

As long as he can pay for himself, basic needs wise, I think everything will be just fine. Maybe he's just anti-social. Hanji could easily break that habit for him. She wasn't shy about anything. And I mean anything.

"I need to go shopping again. I might bring home some takeout for dinner. Is that okay?" I don't know why I even ask. A formality I suppose, because I'm going to get it anyways.

"Oh, no! I'm fine, I don't need anything!"
After receiving the strange look I shot at him, he recovered with, "I think i'll just go to sleep.. I've had a long day. I'm sorry again for causing you so much trouble!" It appeared that he was blushing a little. Maybe I made him uncomfortable? oh well.

He's passing up Chinese food? is he that crazy? Everyone likes Chinese food. I can literally have Chinese food anytime.

"Okay... Well I'm going to go now. See you later." I spoke to no one in particular.
I needed bread, milk, flour, and maybe some chips.

And...
Candy. Grown ups like junk food sometimes too. I made sure to lock the door behind me. I opened my car door, and climbed into my small car.

This could be an interesting couple of days.

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Eren's pov

God. I have no self control! Chinese food is my weakness. But I promised myself. Promised. I hate myself. Why do things have to be like this? I almost fucking gave it away too, right off the bat.

This isn't the first time that I've been through this. People treat you differently when they find out. I don't get it though. I don't need, no, I don't want people's pity.

It's my body, and its my choice. I choose my style of weight loss.
Well, maybe that's bad wording. In simplest terms, I'm a fucking fat ass who can't control himself around food.

I work out as often as I can, but that's not a lot. So yeah, I've skipped some meals. But that shouldn't matter.

"Would you like me to show you the guest room? I'm sure you don't want to sleep on that couch if you don't have to. I'm Erwin by the way, I don't think we were introduced." The man smiled warmly.

That seemed out of character, for his looks, but hey, I didn't know the guy. I'm not a very good judge of character. "That'd be great, actually." I tried my best to smile, but it turned out as more of a lip twitch.

I slowly got up From my spot on the nice couch.
I slung my backpack over my shoulder. I use to carry this backpack around at school. Maybe I should get a new one. It is pretty tattered, and faded.

Once I was guided to my sleeping quarters, they left me alone to have my privacy.
I closed the door, thankful for the small lock button, similar to the one on the bathroom door. I pushed in the lock button, relieved to hear the click.

I peeled off my pants, and then peeled off my sweaty hoodie. Gross.
I can't help but
Look at my arms, even now I still disappoint myself, looking at them.

I had tens, maybe hundreds, of slits between my shoulder and my wrist bone, both large and small, shallow and deep. Some were healing, fading. Some were even just scars.

But some were fresh. I tried to quit. But if you don't truly want to quit, you won't. And I didn't.

I pulled my eyes from my arms, to the ceiling fan. I was sweating, like a whore in church. I can't believe I even just thought that.

I stretch my arm upward, and pull the shorter string, the fan whirling to life. I pulled the string once more, afraid that leaving it on the highest setting that it would break.

I always had that strange little fear. I don't remember why. I'm exhausted. I plopped down on my temporary bed, and tried to relax.

I felt small things coming back to me, feeling anxiety start to bubble within me. I know I took all of my pills, why they weren't working, I couldn't tell you. I tossed and turned, trying to think of positive things, to get my mind out of that repetitive path.

I couldn't do that to myself. Not while I'm here. I'd have to wait. I don't want to ruin what I may have.