Runaway (ereri)

Chapter 21

A/N Thanks so much for 5k reads! (& 350+ votes *that was my previous goal*) I love you guys so much! Also, I'm thinking about making a sequel to this story..? Your thoughts in the comments? Thanks! :)

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Levi's pov

Eventually, my tears ran out. I'm not sure when exactly, but it was quite a while later, when another nurse, this time a female, came in with Eren's dinner.

He was probably fucking starving. He was unconscious for almost two whole days. Although I'm sure he doesn't realize that yet. That's not important right now though.

He pushed his food around on his tray for a while, spreading out the angel hair pasta in a thin layer on the plate. "I swear to god, if you do not eat that, I will force the food down your throat. I'm not even fucking kidding."

I threaten, meaning every word. I'm not letting this boy sit here and starve himself. I mean for God's sake, he's in the hospital, partially because of that!

That causes him to twirl a few noodles onto his fork, and stick it between his lips, chewing slowly. I was going to make him eat all of it, I don't care if he protests. He has no logical excuse.

I silently watch him take a few more bites, before he sets his utensil down, opening his mouth to speak. "I know you're going to ask, so you might as well do it now." He speaks clearly, almost confidently even, making direct eye contact with me.

"You're right. I was going to wait until you were ready to tell me, but I was starting to think that wasn't ever going to happen." I keep the eye contact going, even going as far as to not try to blink.

We both knew we were talking about his cuts. His scars. And if he was ready to tell me, I was ready to listen.

"Well, I'm going to try to make this as simple and short as it needs to be, because the story's really complex. It really started after my mom's death, right before my fourteenth birthday.

My dad basically pretended my sister and I didn't exist. But we really, really tried to help him and talk to him. To cheer him up. He didn't care about us anymore. He had abandoned his two barely teenage children, at least emotionally.

Even on my birthday, he ignored me. Until around eleven that night. He stumbled into my room, more drunk than I had ever seen him. He started yelling at me, how it was my fault that my mom died.

Which of course, it wasn't, because my mom died of some type of cancer that I couldn't pronounce at the time. But I had believed him. He told me I was worthless, that I should have died, and not her. And I knew that was true too.

Even then, I didn't have any potential. That night, not only had he verbally abused me, but he basically beat the shit out of me. He started throwing all the stuff in my room around, destroying anything that was a part of my mother.

After that, he just left. I never saw him again, to this day. I still wish with all of my heart that I could kill him, for taking away everything I had left of my mom.

But also, he carved into my heart and soul that I was worthless, ugly, and stupid. That I should be dead. That everything that went wrong with our family was because of me, because I just wasn't good enough.

That night, was the first time I slit my wrists. I legitimately tried to kill myself, after my father had failed to kill me himself.

Three years later, no matter what I do, I can't shake the belief that all of it is my fault. That all those awful things are true. I still want to die. I have no purpose.

You're the only light, amidst the infinite black void that is my life. You're the only reason I'm not dead right now. I would've slashed the arteries in my wrists weeks ago, if you hadn't found me.

And I'm really sorry, that I've burdened you with my self, mind, body, and soul. I gave you that responsibility, albeit unintentionally.

I at least hope I made sense through all of that, even though I didn't explain everything that's went wrong in my life. I could write a book.

There's just not enough hours in the day to tell you all of the awful things my father said to me, memories that I tried slitting into my flesh.

I'm just so fucking sorry. I'm so selfish." He cried to me. He had even brought me to tears, with the raw truth he revealed to me. no bullshit, no hiding. He had told the truth.

Plus, I am 100% positive that that is the most I have ever heard him speak, In the entire time since I've met him.

And it was about his shitty past. "I'm sorry. And I know I can't erase the scars, or the things your father said to you. But I want to make you acknowledge that everything he said to you was a lie.

I love you, your past, your secrets, and even your scars, baby. Although, I'm not going to kiss your scars. Sorry, but that is cliché as hell, therefore, that is not what I'll do."

I said to him. I'm not very good at cheering people up, but I made him crack a smile, and even laugh, at the last part. And that was good enough for me. "I love you, Eren. Never forget that."

I lean in and kiss both of his cheeks, making him blush, and I whisper in his ear, "Now eat your dinner."