Lylas Dream. (Discontinued)

the surprise

For a long time now I've felt conflicted within my own mind. Conflicted, meaning I felt like I had a good angel and the devil on a shoulder each telling me what to do. For as long as i could remember modeling was all I did, it was my whole life and without it I don't know what I would would have done mainly because it's all I've ever known.

I've been a star in my mother's eye since i was 8, as an only child I received all of my mother attention, not that I asked for it but i was greatful for it. I always liked dancing and modeling and being a runway supermodel was always my dream. I never had the perfect body or the most amazing structure however it's what i always wanted to do.

A big part of my life was taken away in 2012 when Shaun told me to stop. He was scared i would find someone better, maybe someone that didn't beat me every other night. That relationship will always be with me. Although for a long time modeling was my escape from both home life as a child and then as an adult.

I had been watching the models that were coming in and out of the offices and studios. They're all doing what I did, I had achieved alot as a model and although I still kept my body in fit shape it's been a fight inside that I want to settle.

I just didn't want to rush into things.

But then again I said that i didn't want to do that with Liam too.

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I had spent the last 4 nights with Liam, he was due to leave in 3 days for a festival in Spain and I didn't want to leave him. I had come accustomed to having him around.

"Just come with us, the boys will be there too, it's only for a week" he said playing with my hair as we sat on the patio smoking. Liam had a large couch canopy on his patio with a roof over it. I was sitting in at his side like I always did, it was nice to just chill out lately. Thankfully we had the house to ourselves for a few days since Genes been spending time with his mum.

"I'm too busy, I've got responsibilitys here you know that" I said pouting. He pouted too, Liam always looked like a sad puppy when he did that. I shook my head and put my hand on his chest, stretching up to kiss his poured lips as he put his ciggarette out.

"I'm just saying it would be nice to have you around, the kids make me loopy sometimes" he joked and I sniggered as I burried my head into Liams neck as he held me. I really was amazed at how amazing he was.

I was starstruck that he hadn't become annoyed with my clingyness or the fact that my accent was as is proper as the queens making me sound ridiculous next to him.

"It would be nice, maybe I'll come with you to the UK gigs. Things are more relaxed over the summer months" I said, my head on his shoulder, he still played with my hair.

"Oh so now you're only comin' out to the big gigs are ya?" He said. I nodded.

"What is it you say again? Go big or go home?" I asked laughing.

"Oh yeah" he asked poking my side.

"Yeah" I said I said poking him back. Before i knew it we were in a full on tickle war. A totally ridiculous thing for both me and Liam to be doing. We were grown adults for goodness sake. I however was in tears of laughter. Liam had me pinned down and was tickling the souls of my feet.

"Come with me" he said laughing as as struggled to get away. I laughed more and more.

"Liam... stop... I can't... i can't breath" I said before bursting into another fit of laughter.

"Say you'll come with me just for a week" he said. I was just about ready to wet myself.

"I can't Liam" i said still laughing. He moved to my other foot causing me to wriggle around.