Lylas Dream. (Discontinued)

the change

I sat stairing at his blue eyes. They looked expressionless. His hands still as they sat on mines. My mind and heart racing abnormally, thinking this is the end of us. I couldn't believe what I had just said or liams vlearly upset reaction. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. The last time I was pregnant me and Shaun were trying.

Now I was waiting for Liam to reply, but he looked like he was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I felt tears well up in my eyes. Maybe a part of me knew he would react like this, I just thought he would be more mature and stand up to the fact he had responsibilities. I guess i just jad wishful thinking.

"Are you sure?" He asked. Eyes still not looking at me.

"I dont know I haven't even took a test yet, but the we've been traveling and shit and that can mess up my medication and it all adds up really" I said to him.

"You need to do one soon then so we know" he said.

"Liam..." I went to start but he cut me off.

"Look I love you, Yeah, and we can talk more about it when we know y'are for sure." He said standing up.

"Where are you going?" I asked. He turned rapidly and almost shouted.

"To get you a fucking test" he slammed the door as he left and I jumped in a mixture of shock and fear. I took a deep breath before I dropped my head into my lap. I refused to let myself cry over this. I wasn't going to cry over a another man ever again. It was liams choice is he wanted to abandon another child.

Liam was gone a good 20 minutes, it felt like 20 years.  When he returned he had a bag full of stuff. I swallowed as he walked over to me. I was in the same place I was when he left. Letting myself drown in my thoughts.

"Here" he said handing me a test. I looked at him as he nodded.

"Liam..."

"Just please. Take the test ly" he said as he walked to the patio to have a fag. I took the box and went to our room. I sat on the bed and for some reason. I prayed. I prayed that whatever the outcome Liam would stand by me. I loved him so much and his reaction is clearly not what I wanted but on some level it's what I expected. Eventually I went and did what I had to do.

####

"So?" He asked as he paced the bedroom floor. I looked at him and blinked.

"Here," i said handing him the stick. My hands were shaking like crazy .

"Lyla, I think we need to talk about this love" he said. Looking at the stick. My heart was shattering. I could feel myself become physically sick.

"No Liam. You need to listen to me ok. That stick. That is our future. And I'm so sorry this is the outcome, because we never planned this but for once be a fucking man and own up to the fact that you're a father. I will not stand by and waych you abandon another child" I told him. A few tears escaped my eyes as he walked over to me.

I was expecting a slap, I deserved it after what I just said. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to reach me. Waiting for a familiar sting on my cheek. But instead i was getting pulled into a hug. I wasn't expecting that. He pushed me away from him but was holding me tight still.

"in sorry for being a cunt yeah. It's Just, well I thought that, we kinda fucked this up didn't we. Because the stick says 9 weeks and that means you won't be doing the modelling you thought ya would,and plus im gonna be old as fuck once this little yins out of your hair." He said.

"That's what you're worried about right now. Honestly Liam" I said rolling my eyes. I sat on the bed and pulled him down to sit beside me.

"You know I love you. Whatever happens I need to know you will stand by me 100% Liam, I don't want to do this on my own, i need to know that you're going to be here for me and our child." I said. He looked at me and nodded.

"I just never thought I'd be doing this again. All this dad malarkey, I'm 45 Ly, I'm gonna be like 65 before we get any time to ourselves, I will be here for ya, i love ya so much, and this isnt what we planned at all. but I'll be here for ya. Always Yeah" he said taking both my hands. I nodded and smiled as he pulled me into him again.

###

"How are we going to tell they boys?" I asked him as we lay together. Liam hand one arm behind my head and the other behind his.

"I dont fucking know babe. I just dmy know." He said. We had been talking about this for a few hours how and my eyes were becoming heavy.

We spoke about how we would work a baby around actual work. How we would tell my mother. Liam laughed when I told him his mother as she one that told me. He spoke about how it would be nice to be able to raise a kid without the pressure of music on his shoulder. We spoke about all the things we needed too.

I closed my eyes and hummed as the bus of Liams speaking became more and more distant. Eventually my eyes closed and I felt nothing but peace. It felt good. We had a hectic day and Liam was leaving in 6 days. I had told him I would book a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

This scared me. I was going to raise a child. With Liam Gallagher. I dreamed about what Liam would be like as a father to a baby. God knows he wasn't the best father in the late 90s with any of his children. I was scared. For my self and for Liam. But was also ready to charge Into battle.

"Genes going to notice soon if he's going to be around when you're away" I pointed out. Liam nodded before he sighed.

"Were just going to have to tell them as soon as we find out for sure. If anything not telling them will be worse" he said as he landed his fingers in mine. I smiled as he pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed my palm.

"Im sorry for being a cu t earlier" i said. Liam looked at me stunned. I blushed as he pulled me into the crook of his arm.

"Nah, if anything I'm sorry for shouting. Like I love ya, Lyla. I really do, and to be honest. I'm just scared." He said tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Im scared too." I whispered. I was, but i was also ready tonstart a new chapter in mines and liams life.