When It's Time

Chapter Eighteen

A/N: Emotional teenagers overreacting. Rich being overly protective.

Jeremy marched down the road angrily. Rain was still pelting down and it hit his exposed skin like icy bullets. He scowled. He felt angry and disappointed but he wasn't entirely sure if those emotions were directed at Michael or not. He tried so hard to get the image of the boy's face after he'd said he regretted their relationship out of his head, Michael's twitching lips and shining eyes full of tears. But it was tattooed on the inside of his eyelids.

He certainly felt less pressure now and like he wasn't expected to be better just because he had someone there for him but he didn't feel relieved or happy like he'd thought he would. He actually felt kind of empty. He felt fresh tears pricking at his eyes.

Jeremy cried as he walked, attempting to cover his shivering frame with his cardigan. He still felt mad though, everything he'd said was true, wasn't it? Thinking about it now he couldn't recall what he'd said. Had he ever been happy with Michael? Yes. Had their relationship ever been that great? Yes. When had it started to fall apart? Recently. Jeremy reflected on all the things that had gone wrong in the past few weeks and eventually came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with Michael.

He walked the rest of the way to his house deep in thought. When he finally unlocked his front door, he was sure he had ruined the best thing he had in his life yet again. He needed to do something to make up for it.

Making his way to his room, he took out his phone to see eight miss calls from Rich, two texts from Jake telling him to call Rich and two miss calls from Brooke. Nothing from Michael. Of course there was nothing from Michael. As soon as he sat down on his bed he got a call from Christine. He picked up.

"Jeremy, what's going on? Rich called and he's super pissed off, something about you and Michael."

He burst into tears yet again, "It, it was my f-fault. Shit Christine, what have I done?"

"Look, I'm on my way. Hold on okay? If Rich gets there before me well, just be really careful what you say alright?"

Jeremy nodded, forgetting Christine couldn't see him, "okay."

She hung up, leaving Jeremy a blubbing mess.

~Time skip~

The doorbell rang. Jeremy shuffled down the stairs, praying to god it wasn't Rich. He unlocked to door to be met by Christine's embrace, "Come on. I'll get us a cup of tea and you need to tell me what happened."

Jeremy took her hand, allowing her to sit him down in the kitchen. She busied herself with the tea before finally sitting opposite Jeremy, "Spill."

He told her what happened with some difficulty but she never once interrupted.

"Christine, what do I do? Help me."

"So, you still love Michael like, romantically I take it?"

"Yes," he groaned, holding his head in his hands.

"Hmm," She mused for a few seconds, "I don't know. You've fucked it up pretty badly hey." Jeremy glared at her, "Why don't you go over there right now and fix things up?"

"No, no I can't do that. I'm not ready for that."

"Well, whatever it is you decide to do, you had better do it quickly and be very apologetic about it."

"I just want to cry and eat ice cream right now though."

Christine sighed, "I don't know, maybe ask your dad? Rich will probably come around tonight at some point. He's at Michael's right now."

"My dad is hardly a prime example of getting back together with someone you love." He wiped away more tears, looking at the promise ring on his finger. Christine sighed, getting up and giving Jeremy another hug. He clung to her and sniffled, wishing he was hugging someone else instead.

"Jeremy, you know that even though you haven't done the right thing I don't blame you okay? Sometimes people get angry and say things they don't really mean. This is something you'd know if you worked in retail like myself. People complain about everything they can when their having a tough day. We shouldn't take it out on people who don't deserve it but we do, it just slips out. Now, I know for a fact that Michael loves you very much and I'm confident he will be able to forgive you. You know you need him and he knows it too just, you know, try not to do anything stupid okay? We know it's hard for you and Michael understands that better than any of us. We're your friends and we support you so make sure you do the right thing. I know you can do it!"

Christine stayed for a while to eat ice cream and watch TV but eventually she had to go home. She passed Jeremy's dad on her way out and explained what had happened while Jeremy drifted off on the couch.

About half an hour later a nock came at the door. Jeremy got up groggily, rubbing his eyes as he unlocked the front door. It was Rich. He looked mad and was tapping his right foot impatiently with his hands on his hips, "What the fuck have you done Heere?"

Today had been a strain on Jeremy's tear ducts so he was rather surprised by their capacity to suddenly start producing another torrent. Rich sighed and watched Jeremy blub, "Not you too. Bloody hell." He crossed his arms, waiting for the tears to stop.

"Is M-Michael okay?"

"Oh yeah, he's great. Doing really well." He rolled his eyes, "No, he's a complete mess. He called me in tears, utterly distraught, it took me a while to figure out what was going on but as soon as I did I sped over to his to make sure, you know, he wasn't gonna try what he did last time. He wasn't, luckily, considering the person who's supposed to be looking after him forgot about that." He glared at Jeremy, "I just can't believe you've done this. How did you say those things to him? If we weren't friends, I would have told him that he was way too good for you and that you could go fuck yourself. Of course, the situations a bit more complicated than that. Anyway, I would beat your ass but I'm supposed to be getting food and trying to make him eat it so this'll have to be quick. He kept asking of you meant what you said so I figured I'd come ask even though he doesn't know I'm here." He stopped and looked at Jeremy with an expression full of pity.

It took Jeremy a few seconds to realised Rich had asked him a question, "I... umm I actually don't...what did I say?"

"Jesus Christ Jeremy what the actual fuck? You know how Michael is, he replays everything a thousand times in his brain when literally anything happens. Look, I'm not gonna repeat what he said but I'll let you know that he remembers every word even if you don't." He took a breath in an attempt to calm down, "I just...what you said about feeling guilty about the collateral with the SQUIP...When I first met Michael at the hospital I wanted to be friends partially because I felt so bad about ruining his life and shit. If you don't think that I feel bad every day about telling you to get that thing then you're wrong. Michael got hurt really bad because of that and It's my fault but I don't deal with that by lashing out at people just because I'm angry at myself. So yeah just remember that this isn't all about you." He ran a hand through his hair and checked the time on his phone, "Look, I gotta go. I don't know what you're gonna do now but I suggest you take some time to think this over and figure out what you're gonna say to Michael alright?"

He turned to leave but Jeremy called out, "Wait Rich. Should I go over to his place and apologise now?"

Rich turned back and shook his head, "Nah, he's in a pretty bad way. I'd leave it a couple days."

"Thank you. For looking after him. You're the type of boyfriend he deserves."

Rich smiled slightly at this and shook his head again, "Nah, I'm the type of friend he deserves. You're the boyfriend he wants and I think he deserves that much. Good night Jeremy. Try get some sleep."

"Yeah, goodnight."

Jeremy closed the door, banging his head on it repetitively after doing so. He was such an idiot. He'd promised Michael he would never leave him again. He'd fucking promised. He'd gotten mad at Michael because he was trying to cope with his insecurities and then he'd gotten mad because he got upset about those insecurities. The boy went to a psychologist for Christ's sake, he was trying really hard. Jeremy was supposed to be supporting him.

He was too tired to think about this now so he retreated to him bedroom and passed out instantly.