the broken hearted girl

Chapter fourteen - just leave me alone.

~alysha~

It was very amusing reading these letters, to think someone would waste their own free time cutting out letters from magazines/newspapers just to blackmail me.

Its simple they have an obsession for me.

I hate obsessive and clingy guys so much, ugh.

It may not be a guy...

But I'm dying to know who the mystery blackmailer is, but I'm also afraid at the same time?..

I hope that social worker woman doesn't ring me again, I'm not in the mood for her and her shit at the moment.

Next she'll find out about me being an abused and broken girl and will get me a councillor who will tell me to preoccupy myself by eating ice cream.

Pfft no.

Ice cream makes me fatter.

So lowe ice cream!

I think i need to stop obsessing over my appearance and shit, because its making me feel worse about myself.

When i feel bad, i get depressed.

A depressed Alysha= no good.

I need to stop this,

My depression leads to self harming, so its like fucked up.

I still wish i had someone to talk to...

But like i said, who would want me? want to listen to my shit?

Even Nathan's had enough of me and my shit, and well he 'loves' me, so it goes to show.

Everyone who ever cares, i always push away, because ever since my mum passed i don't like to get attached to people who will be there for one part of my life, then be gone in the next minute.

I've had enough of people walking out on me.

Nathan.

He was a jerk towards me the night our friendship went down hill, but i miss him.

i miss everyone and everything which has disappeared from my life, except from my dad.

i don't even want to think about him at the moment, it just makes my other problems ten times worse, because it makes me feel more depressed.

i'm tired of feeling like this.

I'm tired of a terrible life.

i just want to be left alone.'

**

that night i got about two hours sleep, maybe i'm suffering from insomnia...

It doesn't matter, if i don't sleep i won't grow as much, and i'm going to be honest.. i don't really want to grow any taller than my current height.

i really don't want school today.

But my attendence is 77% so it doesn't look like i have a choice.

My phone went off.

Unknown user: your such a butters sket. You're never going to get laid with those butters scars under your concealer.

Ive already gotten laid, so shut the fuck up!

I thought they knew everything about me?! clearly not.

I felt the anger rush through me, my face went bright red.

Whoever's blackmailing me is so going to pay.