the broken hearted girl

chapter twenty two - never doing this again.

~alysha~

We entered the counciling building, dead on time for my appointment. I took a seat in the waiting area, and waited to be called in, but i didn't get to sit down for long. Because as soon as i sat down, i was called into the counciling room...

This woman came out, okay i'm saying she has to be at least thirty/fourty years older than me, she won't be able to understand me - a teenager.. she'll just think i'm all attitude and it's my hormones, but it isn't it's actually emotional. Well i'm not telling this woman anything about me or my life. I'm going to be so blunt, because then, just maybe she'll give up on me, and well thats what i want.

"Alysha Smith?" The woman called, her voice... ew its cringy, and old. I don't like it.

i got up, and walked towards the counciling room, Matt followed me, and held my hand, i guess thats his way of showing that he's here for me.

"So Alysha, and your boyfriend i presume?" The woman began,

Matt my boyfriend? No way. Him, me? He would never get with me, like never... he could get so much better, i'm not even getting into this.

I could feel the heat on my cheeks, i was blushing like hell, this isn't a good start.

"No." i replied.

"I'm just her friend ma'am." Matt told her,

"Oh please, call me Louise." She smiled.

Matt faked a smile back, i could tell he didn't like her that much either...

"So Alysha, what's been happening then?" She asked me.

Why do you keep asking me so many fucking questions? It's my life, my business, not yours!

Fucking nosey cow!

"Not a lot." I bluntly told her, hoping that maybe she would fuck off and leave me alone, and maybe sense that i don't even want to be here..

"Could you empathise on that for me Alysha?" She asked me,

One more fucking question, and i'm going to flip.

"No."

"Well stuff must of been happening, because someone thinks you need counciling. Whether you feel like you need it or not, because i'm not going to give up Alysha." she told me,

"Well do you want to know something? I'm not going to tell you anything! Because i don't fucking want to! I don't care what your job is or what your authority is, but you can tell them that i'm not doing this ever again! I don't know you, i don't even like you for fuck sake. You don't understand me, and you never will!" i shouted, yeah it felt good to get that off my chest, the woman looked gobsmacked, and shocked.

Yeah you fucking stupid cow, you can pass that on... i don't want to do this. I'll get through it all by myself. I only have myself in the end, not this shitty counciling.

I stomped out of the room, before she had a chance to reply, i don't ever want to do this again.

Matt followed me,

We got into the car, and drove home.

"Before you lashed out Alysha, it actually wasn't that bad was it?" Matt asked me, oh is he fucking kidding me? I hated every single moment of it.

"Matt, it was fucking awful through out, i hate it!" i rolled my eyes,

"You only hate it, because you're not giving yourself a chance to like it." he claimed, um no mate.

"Matt, just please shutup. I'm not going again okay? I hated it, and whether i gave myself a chance to like it or not, i just didn't like that woman." I explained, Matt nodded and continued to drive - focusing on the road.

We got back "home", not my home... four weeks, five days left until i can go back to my home.

As soon as i got in through the front door,

"We heard about your counciling with Louise, alysha. It is not a way to speak to someone who is trying to help you! Louise is lovely, she likes to help people, but you may of blown your chance with her. So next week when you go again, you will be aplogising to her." The woman who i live with told me, um mate i don't even know your name.

"I'm not fucking going to that shit again! I don't care what you say ok? It didn't even help me, no it just made me feel worse about myself." I shouted, damn i'm so pissed off with this situation.

"You will be going next week young lady, whether you like it or not." The woman growled, and gave me this aggressive look.

"NO i'm fucking NOT. YOU can't make ME." I empathised, the no, not , you and me.. just to make it extra clear.

Then i stormed up the stairs up to this shitty bedroom, no i hate this, i hate evrything, i hate being me, i just want to give up on my life, i don't want to live it anymore. Okay this may be a rough patch which i'm going throughh, but it seems to be never ending, like i hate it.

Matt followed me,

"Why are you always following me, like a fucking lost puppy?" i snapped at him,

"Because i care about you Alysha, and i worry about you." He told me, oh please.

"How can you care about me Matt? You don't know anything about me, and to be honest i don't know anything about you!" I pointed out, so i'm being mean.. but it's the truth.

"Ok then Alysha, you don't know anything about me? You can ask me one question which i have to answer truefully." he shrugged,

oh so now we're playing truths.. great.

i huffed and puffed before asking.... "Ok.. Who's Leah? And what did she mean to you?" I asked him,

Matt looked up at me, his face filled with; hatred, regret.. he just looked sad and heartbroken. Maybe i shouldn't of asked him this.

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A/N

i took a week to update, so thats not too bad :/. I plan to finish this book within ten chaps at the most, so um yeah. Sorry if there's any mistakes, i suck at grammar and proof reading, so bare with me.

thanks for reading <3

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freya xx