the broken hearted girl

Chapter twenty five - It wasn't mean to end like this.

~Alysha~

I woke up, my vision was blurry.. I didn't know where i was, but i was laid on a bed.

I saw a door, right i need to get out of here, i can't stay here.. i've been kidnapped, what?

I ran towards the door, and attempted to open it, but my attempt failed.. the door was locked from the outside, and now i've drawn attention to myself.

I heard footsteps, coming closer and closer towards me. I'm actually shitting myself, i have absolutely no idea what is going on.. 

The door swung open..

"Alysha." A familiar voice called my name, i looked up to face this person.. it was Nathan.

What the fuck Nathan kidnapped me?

"What the actual fuck Nathan?!" I screamed at him.

"Don't Alysha." Nathan clenched his jaw at me.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

"Don't you fucking tell me what to do Nathan!  just let me go!" I shouted at him.

"What so you can go round telling everyone that i kidnapped you?" He shouted back at me.

"I won't Nathan.. i'm on the fucking run myself, thats why you need to let me leave before people start looking for me!" I hissed.

"On the run from what?" Nathan frowned.. i haven't spoken to this guy in ages, hm where to start?

"My whole fucking life.. i just want to get away, find a way out of this hell hole, which i've created.. Just let me go Nathan." I sighed.

"You can go Alysha, after i've asked you a few questions. First of all i want to make this clear that i didn't intend to kidnap you, hurt you or get in the way of your plans. I just wanted to talk to you, and i didn't know where to find you and you've been so distant from me lately.. and i guess i kinda got obsessed with you... thats when the blackmailing began." he explained.

"You were the person blackmailing me?" I stared at him.

"I'm sorry." He sighed.

"Just tell me why Nathan?" I told him,

"Because, i hated to see you with other guys first it was Jacob, then it was Jay.. and what you never understood, was that i loved you. I still do." He explained, he's making this so hard for me.

"It doesn't justify it Nathan.. And calling me a whore, that was just rude. i don't care what you say or what excuse you have. It's really offensive, and maybe all i ever wanted to be was your friend Nathan."  I mumbled, this conversation though.

"Okay.. so that night when you're dad died and you went to kiss me? Did it mean anything to you?" He asked me, i could see in his eyes that he was hurt..

"Nathan.. Honestly it was a moment of weakness at the time, our friendship was good and stable, and i just wanted to stay friends... why do you love me? Of all fucking people why me? What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm average, wait i'm not even that. So why don't you go and find a girl who deserves your love?" I made a mini speech, aw.

"Because you're perfect." He replied with a smile on his face.

"Don't Nathan, just fucking don't." i warned him.

"Why are you so insecure?" he frowned.

"Can't you see? I'm broken, i'm the broken hearted girl. And that's all i'll ever be."

"Alysha you need to stop this." Nathan told me.

"I never will be able to, me and my issues.. i've tried counselling and it was fucking awful. I'm always going to be this way.. to be honest Nathan, i'm better off dead." 

"Alysha you need help." Nathan pointe out.

"It's too late for help Nath." i felt a tear drop slowly make its way down my face.

"It's never too late," Nathan tried to reassure me.

"It is for me. Now are you going to let me go? Or are you going to keep me locked up here? Because either way i'll give up physically." I shrugged.. shrugging isn't the usual thing to do, during a situation like this, but it's just me.

"You're staying here where i keep an eye on you." He replied.

"Right." i mumbled, before looking around the room... there was a knife, i'm getting it. I'm ending this, i just can't go on anymore.. nathan may love me but, i won't ever be able to love him back the way he would want me to.. and in general i've had fucking enough of my life, and i have nothing to live for.

I ran over to where the knife was, before picking it up..

"Alysha what are-" Nathan began,

"- I am so sorry Nathan." I sobbed, before pushing the blade into my stomach.. i felt a stinging pain,it was absolute agony for the first few moments, but then it stopped... The feeling was beautiful, i never thought that dying would feel this good.

"NO ALYSHA!" Nathan shouted before coming over to me.

"Alysha it's all going to be okay.. i'm going to get my cell phone, i'll ring an ambulance.. They can fix you up, and we can get through this together. just please don't die on me, i love you." He told me.

"Nathan, i'm not going to make it.. i know i'm not, because i don't make it. i want to be with my mum, i miss her so much." i began to cough on my own blood which was coming out my mouth.

"Alysha i'm going to phone an ambulance now." Nathan went to leave me in the basement alone.

"Nathan stay with me please, just for my last minutes, please." I could barely speak..

"Alysha I can't just sit around and watch you die... i love you, how many times do i have to say it?"

"I love you Nathan, just not in the way you would want me to.. You said i'm perfect i.. i am not. I have issues, big issues and no one can fix me, i guess i'll always be broken. And this is the best way for it to end, because in the end either way i'd end up hurting you... i'm sorry. I called myself the broken hearted girl for a reason, and i am so sorry Nathan but i have to do this." I sighed..i could feel the end of everything approaching me, everything closing in on me.. i was loosing all my memories, one by one.

I pulled the knife out of my stomach..

"Alysha what the hell are you doing? You're going to bleed out!" Nathan exclaimed, he had tears all down his face, i've never seem him like this.

I managed to find the strength to push the knife back into my chest and into my heart. I guess my heart really is broken now...

"ALYSHA!" i heard Nathan shout, before blacking out... i was dead.

I'm the broken hearted girl and this is my story.

************************************
A/n

This is the end, alyshas farewel awaw.. i didnt want to end it like this, because it's kinda weird her dying in nathans arms rather than Matt's.. but nathan actually loved alysha she just didnt know it, but it just wasnt enough for her to continue living her life the way she was.

Sequel? no. The main character is dead, i don't see how i could write a sequel?

Epilogue - Yes or no? you tell me..

Anyway thanks for reading this book, i've been writting it for ages.. since i was year 9, year 9 was good times🍚🙈.

Unedited, i wrote this up on my ipod, as my fucking dad has taken my laptop, prick.

Thanks for reading 💕🍥

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Freya xx