The Gangleader Helped Me Become Sober (BxB)

Part 12

The next day is just as bad as the last. We all had decided to take the day off yesterday. We had to call the school and explain that I was sick so they wouldn't call my mom, seeing as how I missed yesterday, too. Daniel went home around 8 pm and Damon spent the night in my room.

When I woke up Damon told me that he had made me toast and that Daniel was coming over in an hour to stay home from school with me while Damon went, and he said he would grab my work. I was so desperate for something that while Damon was in the shower getting ready for school I went through all of our cabinets around the house looking for anything that I could take. I came up empty-handed and ended up eating half go my toast instead. I managed to keep it down with some water. A little while later, Daniel showed up and Damon drove to school, using the spare lemon in our garage so he wouldn't be late.

"Please Daniel all I need is two or three pills and I'll be back to my normal self," I beg.

"No, that wasn't you, that was a version of you that the pills made you into. Once you get over this everything will be better and you will be yourself again." he says sternly but apologetically

"No one likes the real me! You don't even know the real me, you didn't even know me before. I just want to die! Just fucking kill me! Please, just let me die! I want to fucking die!" I yell. My insides hurt and my head hurt and my muscles hurt. Everything hurt, I just wanted it to be over, I wanted everything to just stop.

"Hey, this isn't you talking, you don't want to die, and Damon, your friends, me, we all care for whoever you are, okay?" Daniel states softly. After that things get quiet for a while.

"Daniel"

"Hmm"

"Make it stop. Kiss me. It will help," Daniel's had snaps toward me.

"Listen, think about what you're saying, once you're not in withdrawals anymore I don't want you to regret your decisions," he says, his voice flashing a warning.

"I know. Kiss me, Daniel," I say almost pleading.

Not long after I feel Daniel shift and next thing I know he's hovering over me and his soft lips are gently kissing their way from my shoulder to my mouth. I could get used to this.

Seconds later he's asking for entrance and I feel everything else fading away as I let him in. I'm so caught up in the wonderful kiss that I don't feel the need to take drugs and I don't feel any pain, just Daniel.

I let out a soft moan when Daniel bites my bottom lip, grabbing my full attention. I nip back playfully which causes Daniel to let out a noise of surprise. The next few minutes are full of kissing and playful nipping at each other. It was fun and playful, and my mind never wondered away from Daniel.

The mood goes from playful to serious in a matter of seconds though when Daniel accidentally lowers himself onto me. I can feel Daniel become tense and retreat.

"Sorry, it shouldn't be like this. We should wait for when you're feeling better, take things slower," he says, climbing off of me and pulling me into a sitting position. The heat from the moment slowly fizzles out and I lie my head on Daniel's shoulder. We sit like this for a long time.

Daniel and I bicker two more times before Damon gets home. It's all the same, me begging for something to make me feel weightless again, him refusing. I know I will be grateful for him saying no in the future, I do, but in this moment, I don't.

When the old broken down car pulls back into the garage, Daniel jumps up and tells me to stay here and rest, that he was going to go talk to Damon.

I didn't want him to go, because I knew he was going to be talking about me and I was also going to be losing his comfort and warmth, even for just a little while.

"Damon, can I talk to you?" Daniel's voice floats up to my room. I think he's forgetting that our house isn't nearly as big as his own. Even though it's wrong, I walk over to my door and lean up against it to hear the conversation better.

"I'm worried. He said some things and it made me kind of scared," I recognizes Daniel's voice say.

"What's things?" My brother asks.

"I think he's suicidal. He said that no one loves the real him and that want someone to kill him. He said that he wants to die. It could just be the withdrawal but I don't want to take any chances," I hear Daniel say in a raspy voice.

My heart sinks. I forgot about that. I can hear Damon cough like he does when he tries to hide a sniffle. It becomes too much to listen to, so I curl back up in bed and put a pillow over my head.

A few minutes later I hear my door creek from being pushed open. I look up to see Damon cautiously walking through the door. I watch his eyes scan my room, random things off of my nightstand were thrown across my room when I had gotten particularly worked up.

"Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?"

"Better. Not great."

Damon walks over to me and sits on my bed. I sit up, too. He looks over at me and the side of his cheek is sucked in as he chewed on it, his eyes looked red and watery.

"Please be happy. Please don't kill yourself," Damon suddenly pleads, making me jump. He tackles me in a hug and starts sobs against me. I wrap my arms around him tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm just in a rough spot," I say fighting back tears. I can't believe I cause him that much worry. I feel really bad.

"I love you and I can't lose you," I can feel my eyes sting and my heart clench tightly.

"I love you too," I whisper back, giving him a tight squeeze. Eventually, he gets up and wipes his eyes.

"I think it's better if Daniel spends the night tonight. I'll be right next door if you guys need anything. I think he knows a little bit more about this stuff than I do," Damon says, gesturing begins him. I glance over his shoulder and see Daniel leaning against the door frame. He was looking at the floor, wanting to give us a minute.

I nod and go to say something else before I realize Damon staring intensely at me.

"What?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. What did I do now?

"Do you-? Wait! You have a hickey! Oh my god did you guys.... no. I'm just going to leave it at that. No," he says looking like he's not really sure whether to laugh or walk away.

He does both.

Daniel takes this as his invitation to climb into bed with me and snuggle up with me. Which I have to admit, I have no problem with.

"You and your brother have so much love for each other. That makes me happy, that you've had someone through everything," Daniel whispers.

"Yeah. Damon's the best, I just feel bad for hurting him, ya' know?"I tell him as I lie my head on his chest. I listen to his heart beat and my heart rises with each breath he takes, it makes me feel oddly calm.

"Hey you're in a bad place, he understands and I don't think you're hurting him, I think you're making your relationship stronger."

I smile at him then the next words come flying out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"Daniel Reed Black, be my boyfriend"

"Of course. Jaidon Rain Meyes I couldn't think of anything better," Daniel whispers into my ear.

I fall asleep to the rise and fall of his breath not too much longer. I don't think I've ever fallen so hard.