Mere Words

Chapter 1

"Laurie, wait!"

I turned at where Mara's voice came from. Inayos ko ang salamin ko habang hinihintay ang pagdating ng kaklase ko. She was half running while a big smile was plastered on her face. Her jet black hair was being swayed by the wind, along with her milky skirt which was up to her knees, and that made the moment looked like one of the scenes in romantic movies.

I cleared my throat as I was calming my nerves.

"U-uhmm. B-bakit?" tanong ko sakaniya habang siya ay naghahabol pa ng kaniyang hininga.

"My God! That was embarrassing of me to run like that!" she whispered to herself na narinig ko naman. With the sweat on her forehead, she still look amazingly beautiful. No wonder, she's always the talk of the town, if not, then here in the campus.

"Anyway, we're planning an outing for the weekend and-"

"O-outing?" putol ko sakaniya.

"Yeah, so will you come?" she asked with a sweet smile. I felt happy for a moment. Well you see, I wasn't the sociable one nor the person with a circle of friends, and being asked like this was a taboo for me. Adding the fact that Mara, someone everyone was more than willing to be with, was asking me. But my answer was very clear. Maybe Mara, being friendly with everyone, was okay to hang out with a geek like me, but not her friends.

"M-may gagawin k-kasi ako," I answered and then looked down to my shoes as if these pair of black shoes was the most interesting thing right now.

"Ow, okay," she sounded a bit hurt and disappointed. I looked at her and smiled inwardly when I saw her pouted. She didn't know how beautiful she can be no matter what she does to her face.

How I wish I was like her.

"Then will you promise to come with us na, the next time I ask you?"

I nodded, with obvious hesitation plastered on my face.

I was taken a back when Mara jumped at me and gave me a hug.

"Yay! Aasahan ko 'yan ha?!" she said with a wide smile. She kissed my cheek before she let me go and went to where our classroom was. While I was frozen for what she had done.

Okay, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not gay or something, and I swear it to God. It was just that Mara acted like we were very close friends.

And how I wish it was really like that.

I have great family. We have lots of money. I have good academic results. If there's one thing I don't have, that are friends whom I always crave for. But no matter how I want to have friends, I just don't have the courage to start a talk with other people other than my family... and my books.

Oh right, books!

Muntik ko nang makalimutan 'yung libro na hiniram ko sa library kanina. I have to return it already because I have done reading it.

Naglakad ako pabalik sa classroom. The laughters from the inside grew louder and louder each step I took. At pagkapasok ko, ang mga magugulo kong mga kaklase ang bumungad sa akin. The boys were throwing crumpled papers at each other. The girls on the other side were talking about random things. I even spotted Mara who was laughing with her friends about something.

Napadako sa akin ang tingin niya, o baka hindi? I was about to smile at her when she returned her graze at her friends. I admit, I felt hurt.

Yumuko ako, trying my very best so that they won't recognize my presence. But I failed when a crumpled paper hit my head and laughters filled the room.

"Sorry," said Jim, maybe the one who hit me.

"Ano ba kayo guys. Stop na! There's nothing funny," said Mara.

"A-ah okay lang! Ha, ha," I said, waving my hands in the air. I laughed with them awkwardly.

After that, they returned to what they were doing. Mara gave me a smile and went back to her friends.

Dali-dali naman akong nagtungo sa sit ko sa first column na katabi ng bintana. Kinuha ko ang isang libro at nakayukong lumabas ng room.

Napabuntong-hininga ako nang nakalabas na ako ng room.

Kahit na medyo malayo na ako sa room, rinig na rinig ko pa rin ang mga tawanan nila.

Ganoon parati, para lang akong hangin na hindi nila mapansin-pansin kahit na ramdam nila ang presensya ko. Mapapansin lang 'pag pagtatawanan na. But although they were like that, they were not really harsh towards me. They don't do to me those ridiculous things written in the books and shown in the movies. They don't bully me or hurt me intentionally.

They just don't give a damn to me. And I was torn between wanting to be bullied by them so that they will notice my presence, or treat me as if I wasn't there. Yeah, it was crazy wanting to be bullied just so they can notice me, but you don't know how it feels like. They don't know how I wished to be part of them, laugh with them, and do silly things with them. I want to spend my life with fulfillment before it last. But maybe that was too much to ask.

But that was before.
Along the way, I have learned how to love the silence. Through reading, I found friends... companionship. I've felt mixed emotions. From pages to pages, I have learned things I never thought it was there. It was like I travelled the whole universe, and my tour guide was that small things found in the shelves.

Books, with those words inside, let me see and feel things out of my box.

***
A's N:
A new story to work with, because the rest were failures.😂 I'll do my best to make this one successful, and I hope you won't get tired of it. So yeah, keep reading. And if it won't hurt, will you tell me where did I go wrong or what should I improve? That would be highly appreciated!