Mere Words

Chapter 22

Things have turned upside down. I'm not sure how it happened. Biglang na-realize ko na lang na ibang-iba na pala ang nagiging takbo ng buhay ko, mula sa inaakala ko na magiging takbo nito ilang buwan lamang ang nakalipas.

Just months ago, I was the lonely Laurie who had no one on her side.

"Laurie, g-gusto mo bang sumama?" a classmate of mine asked shyly. Behind her are her friends, who looked like they are expecting me to say yes.

Paano ba 'to? Ayoko sanang sumama dahil baka ma-out-of-place ako, pero ayoko namang sumama ang loob nila. Ako na nga ang inaaya. Ito rin naman ang gusto kong mangyari noon, 'di ba?

Napahawak ako sa salamin at inayos ito kahit na nasa tamang ayos naman.

I smiled. "Saan ba?"

Nakita ko ang pag-aliwalas ng mga mukha nila. I felt bad tho. They knew me, but I can't recall their names. I'll try to ask them discreetly, later.

"Sa baba lang naman ng campus, sa kabilang kalsada. May sikat kasing milktea shop doon," masayang sagot ng isa.

Milktea shop? May ibang pagkain naman siguro sa menu nila, 'no?

"Wag kang mag-alala, alam namin na sinusundo ka kaya we'll make sure to return you here before your driver arrive. 5:00 ba or 4:00 PM 'yon dumadating?" the other one interjected. Ni hindi ko alam kung sino ang babalingan dahil sa sunod-sunod nilang pagsasalita.

"Pwede ko naman siyang i-text na lang," mahinang tugon ko.

"Great! Tara?"

I returned their smiles and nodded.

I always receive invites every now and then. Minsan sumasama naman ako, pero madalas na hindi. Lalo na pag-outing o 'pag mall ang punta. Nahihiya pa kasi ako sa kanila. Para kasing ang bilis.

Minsan din nila akong inimbita para mag-night out. Post party raw para sa debut ko na 'di ko man lang sila inimbitahan. Ipinaliwanag ko na simpleng dinner lang naman ang nangyari, kaya they suggested na mag-bar since halos lahat na rin kami nasa tamang edad. Though I was curious, I respectfully declined. Alam kong 'di papayag si Mama. She hates places like that.

"So 'yon nga, it was so nakakakilig! He was on his bended knees with a bouquet of roses. Can you imagine it? Gosh, he even cried ha! Kaya I decided na rin na give him a chance."

Buong atensyon akong nakikinig sa maligayang pag-ku-kuwento ni Juris, isang tanghali sa isa sa mga cottages ng mga frat organizations ng University.

"Sigurado ka ba? I-I mean, he... cheated-" hindi ko na tinapos ang gustong sabihin, nang makita ang pagnguso ni Juris.

"He said na he's changed naman."

"Pero, hindi ba parang ang b-bilis naman?"

Juris stared at me. She looked like she was thinking thoroughly of what I said. After a moment, she sighed.

"You think so?" I wanted to take back what I said when I heard her solemn tone.

Pero bilang kaibigan, hindi ba dapat din tayong maging tapat sa kaibigan natin? Give them our piece of mind though it might hurt them. Lalo na kung alam mo naman na maaaring mali ang ginagawa niya.

Or was I being beyond what a friend should be? Nanghihimasok na ba ako sa hindi ko dapat panghimasukan? 

Napakamot ako sa ulo ko. "B-but if you are happy, then..." nag-aalangang bawi ko sa sinabi kanina.

"I..." Juris heaved a deep sigh. Na para bang 'di rin siya sigurado. She looked down on her newly painted nails. "He makes me happy, yes. When I'm with him, he showered me with love. He spoils me, not like I can't afford to spoil myself, but you know? It feels different when other people do it for you... But... t-there's just this... This hole."