"You're good to go see him. He's up from surgery and he said he's feeling okay. From what I heard earlier, I expected him to be more of a whiner but to my surprise, the only words he's spoken is thank you." The doctor told you, before the man slipped away with a nurse trailing him.
Iwaizumi looked at you, before shaking his head, "This isn't good."
"I know, he shouldn't have overworked himself. But that's besides the point, it's going to take him a while to recover..." your voice trailed off as you bit your lip.
"Are you afraid he's never going to be as good as he was. Because I am." Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his hair, then put his arm around your shoulders, before you tilted your head up and whispered, "I think he's afraid of that too."
Several players sat in the waiting room, all eyes watching as you disappeared down the hallway. The game had finished in favor of your university. The match was easily put away once the star player was taken to the hospital. Once you had arrived, it had already been an hour. With that, you waited five more hours because he had to wait for 6 hours to have his surgery.
The procedure was quick, and started at 5 so you could see him around 7ish when he woke up.
So, there you were reliving the oh-so-similar moments when you had lost volleyball for the rest of your life. It almost seemed suffocating to be walking down the same hall again, to visit the recovery ward where you were after they repaired your destroyed knee.
It was extremely hard for you, to say the least. You remembered asking about volleyball once the medication had worn off, and the minute the doctor told you you couldn't. You felt every piece of your heart shatter, that was your dream, and it had been torn from you, forever. Not just a few months, but forever. You could never play the thing you loved the most again, and from that you felt a massive gaping wound in your heart.
As if automatically, your legs continued carrying you before you made a series of rights then you finally turned into Oikawa's room.
He wore a blank stare, eyes plastered at the wall facing towards him. Your eyes carried to his knee, wrapped up, and it sent shivers down your spine, you remembered how constricting the bandages felt.
Iwaizumi knocked, before you slipped the milk bread bag out of his hand and spoke. "Hey Tooru." He looked over at you, and his eyes lit up for a moment before the spark faded. "Hey (f/n)-chan, Iwa-chan, how'd the game go?"
"You can worry about it later. How are you feeling Crappykawa?" Iwaizumi said, walking into the room and taking a seat next to his bed.
"Crappy." Was his response, before he looked at you. "We brought you some milk bread, although I'm not sure if you have to wait a few more hours to eat it yet." You offered, placing the bag by his side.
"Thanks (f/n)-chan!" He said, trying to force himself to be happy.
You sighed before placing a hand on his cheek. He looked at you, his chocolate eyes had darkened with sadness, and no fake smile could hide the torment he was feeling.
"Tooru, don't force yourself to be happy, I know you're suffering right now, but that's what I'm here for. So don't try to fake an emotion I know you're not feeling. You can be sad, mad, upset, because I know you're blaming yourself for the loss today. And for the many ones your team is going to experience since you're hurt. But it's not your fault, and you need to know that. "
Oikawa went to say something, but he bit his lip, before reaching out his hand and touching your face, fingers tracing your jawline. " I could have worked a little harder, maybe then I wouldn't have been so tired and my knee so exhausted."
Iwaizumi lost his patience, before gently hitting Oikawa on the forehead. "You dumbass, that's why you're in this situation, you overworked yourself."
Oikawa let his hand fall from your face, before he fought away the tears stinging at his eyes. No, he wouldn't cry in front of you, or anyone as a matter of a fact. He couldn't. He needed everyone, especially you, to see him take this with the perfect cute and cheeriness he sported.
"Tooru. You're not perfect, you could never possibly be. So don't hold yourself to that standard. You're human, and humans get hurt. I know you want to think you're like Superman, but you're not. You're mortal, and you'll heal, maybe not as quickly as you'd like yourself to."
He shook his head, before opening the milk bread package and tearing off a piece.
"I'm fine, really guys." Although he did not sound the least bit convincing at all. You looked at him, before sighing. "Well, you're good to go home, and we'll be taking you. Since you're recovering, from surgery, the university was extremely gracious and relieved you of any studies for next week since they said they want their star athlete to recover as quickly as possible. You'll be staying with us though, hope you don't mind." Iwaizumi said with a smirk as Oikawa began smiling, although it wasn't really genuine.
"Okay! Let's go, the quicker I get home, the faster I can eat this bread." Oikawa said. You were quiet, mainly because the hospital room smell reminded you a lot of the day you lost your dream. You remember the doctor telling you those stupid words. You also remember telling the doctor and your parents if they would leave you alone for a few moments, as soon as they shut the door tears were already streaming down your face.
"You coming (f/n)?" Iwaizumi asked you, raising an eyebrows at your current ghostly state. "Yeah, sorry I totally spaced out." You said, before Oikawa was put into a wheelchair, taught how to use crutches, then moved into the car as you began your drive home.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" You asked, leaning against the doorway to Iwaizumi's room. Oikawa looked at you from his position on the bed, before his eyes traveled back to the T.V. He was surrounded in darkness, and was more than content to keep hidden from the light.
He basically ignored you, which you had been seeing a lot of since you had taken him home. He either gave you half assed answers or left your words to dissipate in the air without a response, which was completely different from how he was in the hospital.
"Okay, no response works too." You said, before you heard Oikawa click his tongue against his teeth. "I'm not really in the mood for sass." He said. You sighed, eyes searching the brown haired boy's face for some sort of emotion, yet it lacked any expression and told everything at the same time.
"Sorry, I just wanted to check up on you." You replied, getting ready to leave.
"Well you don't need to. I'm fine, so stop acting like I'm not." Oikawa said back quickly, although his words tasted bitter in his mouth. He was trying to force himself to believe his own words, despite the ache he was currently feeling.
"You're hurting, I could hear you taking the pills when it rattled in the bottle while I was in the living room."
"(f/n), I don't need you worrying about me and checking up on me every second of the day."
"The last time I checked up on you was two hours ago." You replied, before shaking your head, making your way out of the room. Oikawa had become sour, everything he said was meant to hurt you, which he was becoming quite good at.
This side of him made you question whether the person he showed you really was just a face, but the more you thought about it the more you knew why he was acting this way. Perfection, that's what he strove for. Yet he had fallen short of perfection, with bits of his world crumbling around him. His fortress of being the volleyball king was beginning to fall.
Everything he had worked so hard for was crashing around him, much to his horror. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. So he was lashing out at you, because he knew you could easily see through mask he was putting on to hide his anxiety and terror that was beginning to riddle his body. Oikawa needed you away from him, so you wouldn't see the unperfect part of him, the side he hated to visit.
But, you knew that's where Oikawa was wrong. Everyone has that side, including you. That side you want to hide from the world, that holds your inner most deepest thoughts, no matter how terrible and dark. Only for Oikawa, it drove him further away from perfection. His fears of not being good enough, swirled in his head as he watched you disappear down the hallway.
Over the course of being with you, another fear had risen, one that stung more than the others. Oikawa was afraid that even after he poured out the best parts of him to you, you'd walk away, because his darkness outweighed the light. He needed to pull away from you, so when you did decide that he wasn't good enough, the words would create a shallow cut, instead of a gaping hole in the side of his heart.
YOU ARE READING
The Perfect Face ||Oikawa Tooru x Reader||
Fanfiction(Oikawa Tooru x reader) Never once in his life has he met someone who was as talented, as intelligent, and as attractive as himself. Nor had he met someone who could easily see through the perfect mask he wore, but you did. The girl with the 'flawle...
