The Perfect Face ||Oikawa Tooru x Reader||

Chapter 26

"You have to take off your mask more often, it's not a good look on you." You heard Oikawa say, those words, were the exact same one that you had in your dream. Word for word.

Your jaw dropped slightly, while Oikawa turned to you with a smirk on his face. "So you did hear me."

You blinked, "What do you mean?"

"You heard me, both before and now." Oikawa said, before standing up and walking to throw away a piece of trash.

It really wasn't a dream, those words were his, he had told you them when you were half asleep. You stared at him as he looked at you, eyes dark. The milk chocolate color that had sparkled was gone and all there was left was dark orbs.

"I don't deserve you. And I know that and it frustrates me." You watched as he returned to you, watching the expression on your face closely. You felt your heart seize, and he knew it had. "You're so much better than me in every aspect. And I'm afraid to lose you to Iwa-chan. It's so easy to see you slipping away. I know I haven't been the perfect boyfriend and that most of our arguments have been my fault. It's so simple for you to walk away. Last night when I told you all I felt, you didn't react. It's like I poured out my heart." Oikawa spoke softly. So the last part where you declared you feelings didn't happen apparently. "I need to know how you genuinely feel." He said, before taking a step closer to you. You studied the bleak look on his face.

"Fine, you want to know how I feel? When you'd get mad at me you'd take your frustration out on me. And I get why you did that, but then you'd say words you can't take back, although you said you didn't mean it, you said it was just because you were mad. You can't just take words back because they still have an effect. You can say they don't but after a period of time you start to question whether that's the truth or not. And you know, I feel like some guys would like me, there's never been a boy who I've liked that I can't get, so I think maybe I'm sorta likeable. And that maybe I'm okay. But you don't show me off like I'm your world, or the most breathtaking girl you've ever seen. Maybe it's not important to you but I want to feel like I'm the only girl you'll want and ever need. I don't want to feel like I have to try and compete with other girls. I try to be as understanding and forgiving as I possibly can with you. And sometimes it feels like it isn't enough. I feel like I'm not enough. And I hate that feeling. Sometimes you can treat me so amazingly but then you turn around and treat me like crap. And I don't understand why. I get that people have their off days and can be mean to people they care about but with you sometimes it's like the flip of a switch and I can see your whole personality change. It doesn't make any sense to me. And I think anyone who's in a relationship deserves to be treated like they deserve the world. Sometimes I can't even tell if you genuinely love me or not." You said, watching as Oikawa listened, but his brown eyes turned black and he felt his heart break a little.

"Then why have you stayed?" He asked in a weak voice, his eyes dropping to the floor. You sat there with your arms crossed over your chest and eyes locked on him despite the fact that you knew he hated it. Through your head went racing all the good memories you had together, when you saved the little girl, to the times where you would just nap on the couch, curled up together snoozing the day away. To saving the dog together and play fighting around on the couch and wrestling each other. To random food dates. Then to all the times you talked late at night about how the future scared you both. All the laughter, all the happiness he had given you. It seemed to drown out the bad things when you thought back.

"Because I love you despite it all." You said quietly.

"I feel like all we do when we're apart is argue or we just don't talk to each other. And when I'm at school and far away I don't want to fight all the time."

You sat there stumped, listening to him. It was completely true that you did fight, but also the fact that he was usually the cause, it's not like you were perfect or anything, but you tried to be as calm as you could with most situations.

"What can I do to change and make it better?" You said. Before he replied back solemnly, " Nothing. You're perfect the way you are."

"Where does this leave us then? " You asked, watching as stared back at you.

"It means that I'm in love with you. And that's all I know right now." He replied.

"Well Oikawa, I'm going to tell you one thing. I'm asking you to change, to work on the things you say because despite friendship or relationship, you know people's weaknesses so you shouldn't tear them down by using them when you're mad. I can't keep acting like hearing these painful words every time you're frustrated doesn't cause destruction. Man hearing that from someone you love is so excruciatingly painful. When you date someone they're suppose to make you a better person and I don't know if I am making you one. We have to do something since our relationship has been so astray and rigid lately. I get the whole thing with Iwa and I don't where any of the feelings came from, maybe because I felt so neglected and they emerged when I wasn't able to talk to you, I hadn't even realized I had been pushing that feeling away deep down inside. We can't go back to what we were before all this but we can change the way it is now and make it something better than before. I know that to change and try and become better about something takes time, so I'll give you it. If you're genuinely serious about this, if you don't want to lose me, work on it. But if you don't care, then don't. "

Oikawa looked at you, he wanted you more than anything, but deep down inside he was afraid he wouldn't change. You could read his thoughts, before saying, "There's a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you. It up to you to show me which one you are."