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❝Everything is restless in my heart, I hate the way this feels.❞ Cathy Dennis, Suicide
HWANG EUNBI.
to be honest, she should've expected it. her life was a series of disasters and everything always doesn't go as planned.
she ran to the nearest starbucks near their studio and gasped for air when she reached the place, the guard looking strangely at her before opening the door.
eunbi found a seat and sat down in it, burying her face in her hands and sighing deeply.
i hate this. how the fuck -
"uhm, are you going to order miss? you've been sitting there for about five minutes. . ."
her head shot up and offered the waitress a apologetic smile. "sorry. i was just thinking about something. i'll order." standing up from the seat, he went straight to the counter.
"one caramel frappucino." eunbi says, cutting the girl in the counter who gave her a stink eye before typing it out. (which she ignored.) "that's all, thank you."
after she payed and said her name, she went back to her seat and sulked.
i mean, it's not like she didn't expect this situation. yuri and sooyoung we're bugging her for years to come home and perform with them at korea. in which eunbi declined strongly.
it's just that her mind was still jumbled up. with the appearance of jung yerin, a horrible encounter with men early in the morning and just both the leaders coming up with the idea of her going back (again.)
it was just too much for her brain and feelings to comprehend and she just wanted to explode.
".. sin, right?"
eunbi jumped out of her reverie and looked at the guy standing near the chair in front of her.
"uh, yeah?"
"they've been calling your name for a while now. here's your drink." he pushed the drink with the straw in the wooden table, which she took with a small thank you. "this seat isn't taken, right?" he continued, motioning the empty seat.
"go ahead." she answered, slouching in her seat and sighing deeply.
"so sin, what got you sighing so deeply?" he spoke, bringing the straw of his drink to his mouth and sipping.
eunbi glared at the man and scoffed, "if you're planning on hitting on me, stop. you are just gonna waste your time. i don't swing that way."
the man look momentarily surprised by the confession but chuckled a moment later, "don't worry, hon. you're not my type. i don't swing that way either."
"well, uh, okay." she mumbled, feeling embarassed about herself.
"so. . .?" the man prompted.
"why would i tell you all my problems? i don't even know you." eunbi slammed the half empty cup in the table before crossing her arms.
"well i know you." he said, confidence seeping in his voice."your name is sin and you are currently drinking a caramel frappucino. oh, and also my name is heechul and i'm korean too!"
you don't know anything.
the girl sighed looking straight at the man in front of her before answering.
"heechul right?" he nodded. "i don't know what to do." eunbi mumbled, looking down.
the man's features softened. "why?"
"i want to see her but i can't." eunbi trembled. "i can't. because i'll just want her to be mine again. and that's not suppose to happen. she's happy without me. she doesn't need me. i don't want to go back because i'm afraid i won't be able to control myself. she worked hard on where she is now. i can't. . . i can't ruin it for her."
i just don't want to hurt her again.
heechul put his drink at the table. "but both of you didn't want to let go right? you want to see her and you think that she doesn't want to see you too? but what if she wants to take the risk? what if she's just waiting for the right time. what if she wants to be with you? what if she isn't happy because you're not there? what if she still loves you?" he said.
". . ." eunbi couldn't respond, too busy trying not to cry in front of the man she just met five minutes ago.
what if. she never thought too much about it.
maybe yerin still loves her.
but no.
yerin worked so hard to be up there, she studied acting, dancing and singing just to be an actress that everyone would want to be like. she was the epitome of "perfection".
and not many people would be accepting when they find out, south korea's sweetheart liked girls.
"go and follow your heart, dear. be honest to yourself. do what you want to do and love will find a way. it might sound cliche and all but you can't live in your fear forever." he continued.
heechul was about to say something when his phone rang, a korean song blasting through the speakers the voice sounding oddly familiar before she brushed it off (joreujima eolma gaji anha bureuge haejulge baby~).
"i need to go, my boyfriend is waiting for me." the older - he seems to be older - said, standing up from his seat and flashing eunbi a small smile. "think about it and be happy, sin. i think we'll be seeing more of each other soon. . . bye."
and with that he was gone and eunbi was left all alone yet again.
looking at the seat in front of her made her sigh. maybe he's wrong, maybe he's right.
eunbi stood up from her seat and threw the empty cup in the bin before going out the store.
america was different from korea in a lot of ways. and it made her miss her home just by thinking of it.
she stopped walking when she reached a park near the cafe. sitting at one of the benches there, eunbi wistfully looked at the sky.
