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❝It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive.❞
HWANG EUNBI & WANG JACKSON.
eunbi paled when she saw him, hands trembling slightly as she backed away like somebody pushed her. jackson seemed to notice this behaviour and stiffened, opting to put his hands inside his pockets.
"hwang eunbi -"
"is the seat open?" the girl, almost hysterically, asked. "are you, are you leaving?" she whispered but the man heard her loud and clear.
"i'm not finished yet." he said softly, biting his lip. "but you can sit in front of me if you like. or i could just get another seat."
she looked at him in the eyes and nodded, quietly making her way to the seat in front of him.
it was a quiet invitation for a conversation, to clear things up and to face everything that both of them had tried so hard to avoid.
this wasn't the jackson she knew. nor was this the eunbi he knew.
both of them changed for the better. but how can you forget everything that has happened when it still haunts you every night? when you hear his voice in your head so suddenly. or when you hear her screams as you beat her innocent body and almost killing her?
"how are you?" jackson was the first who broke the silence between the two of them, sounding anxious.
"how am i?" eunbi exploded, her voice wavering slightly. "i'm doing fine. abso-fucking-lutely fine!" she continued, sarcasm evident in her voice.
jackson ignored how the girl was squeezing her coffee cup so tightly that liquid was flowing out and wetting their table.
"eunbi -" he started.
"no. please." eunbi stopped him, her voice weak. "don't call me by name. i can't stand it."
there was silence once again, and only the chatter inside the coffee shop was heard, as well as the soft dripping of eunbi's coffee that was hitting the floor. the boy watched as his ex girlfriend tried to fight the tears that we're forming, clenching his jaw and bowing his head.
he could not bear to see herself like this. so broken, so sad. all because of him. he ruined another person's happiness just because of his selfish ways.
and it was all his fault.
but the one who got affected the mosy was the victim. and his guilt was eating him whole for the past years. but how can he ask for forgiveness when what he did was beyond forgiving?
"i despise your existence." eunbi's voice broke him out of his thoughts. "i wanted you dead, i wanted you to dissapear. i wanted you to just leave me alone." she whispered, now crying.
the man in front of her was silent.
"and then i got pregnant."
jackson stayed still. closing his eyes as he listened to her talk.
"after you had raped me. the child inside of me was the cause of my boyfriend raping me. but i didn't care. because you know what? it was still a baby. that had done nothing wrong to the world, even if it's father was such an asshole. i wanted to raise it. to show my child the wonderful world they deserve living in. without you. i didn't want you to hurt the both of us so i wanted to get away, from the monster you were. but i couldn't escape you and - and" she hiccuped, tears streaming down her face like a watefall. "and i was left with a dead child and scars all over my body."
this was all your fault. all your fucking fault.
jackson toom deep breaths to calm himself and felt a tear, a single tear roll down his cheek as he listened to every word she said.
all of them we're laced with the same emotions: anger, sadness and fear.
"but i met yerin." eunbi smiled painfully, and looked at his slouching figure, the small puddle of tears on the table and she continued, "honestly, one of the few things that i wished to remember always. i loved her so so much. and i had to leave her for your reputation, for your mother. and i always thought, this isn't fucking fair. i'm the one who was almost killed yet i face all the problems. why can't you take all the blame? why do i always have to adjust to your liking? to everyone? to every single shitty thing you have done." she gritted out. the coffee cup was now crumpled and the floor was full of brown liquid. eunbi threw it behind her carelessly.
"look at me." with the order, jackson looked up and the two met eyes.
eunbi wanted to look away but she saw how different the feel in his eyes were. the last time she saw him.
his eyes were dark and full of emotion. but now it was dull, as if he just gave on living. like he just wanted to escape from the world.
"i'm sorry." he spoke up. "i am sorry to all the things i have done to you, my child and the other people who were affected by my actions. i am sorry that i have failed to make you smile in the days that i was your boyrfriend and instead made you miserable. i'm sorry for almost killing you, beating you, raping you and killing the child that was supposed to grow old8 with you. i know, that you cannot forgive me and i understand that. but i just want to tell you that i'm sorry for all the things i have done. eunbi - i mean - hwang eunbi, i loved you. i really did. but -"
eunbi cut in, sounding breathless. "but you stopped loving me. and i did too." she took a deep breath before continuing, "i can't forgive you. after all the things you have done, it's still fresh. i just can't. i keep hearing you in my mind, you drove me crazy. you were the reason why i left the love of my life, why my child didn't have a chance to grow up, and i just can't. maybe you did change for the better, but i can't just forgive you. because i am not strong enough to forget everything."
eunbi stood up, her chair making a squeaky sound as she did so and faced the boy of her nightmares, chin up as she tried to calm herself.
but she can't.
and a second later, jackson was cupping his cheek with his left hand, eunbi's hand imprinted to his skin in bright red, his mouth open in shock.
she just slapped him in the face.
and it felt fucking good.
"and fuck you. for making my life miserable."
and eunbi walked out, leaving jackson staring at the table, thinking deeply.
