Well today has been a pretty shitty day. Lol I thought it was going to be alright since I started the day off quite well due to my lesson being cancelled. Oh boy was I wrong. I had another anxiety attack today in college. It just went haywire and my heart was going crazy. I just can't stand college. I hate hate hate hate hate it. All I can think about is how everyone is making friends and everyone got their own little group of friends that they can rely on and have laughs with and have a good time. I don't have that. I thought college was gonna be a great two years for me and I was going to make friends. Nope. Fuckkk no. I doubt people even really acknowledge me there. If I fucking died I don't think they would care all that much. I feel like such a failure, I failed at making friends, I fail at doing what I love, I fail at trying to make myself happier and better. I fail at speaking for fuck sake.
I just wish I wasn't so alone and my anxiety could get out of the way long enough for me to actually show people that I'm a decent enough person and if they could ignore my awkwardness or anxiety then I'd be a great person to chill with. Guess this bullshit ironic universe don't fuck with me like that to be handing out free passes.
YOU ARE READING
Guess Issa journal
RandomRead the title dimwit. I'm just gonna be chattin bout anything I wanna get off my chest. A lot of depressing shit so don't read if you're a lil bitch and tryna avoid them "vibes".
