its 2.44am and apparently I cant get over this feeling of numbness and the urge to cry long enough to complete my essay. I'm not even entirely sure why I want to cry. I just feel so...sad.
I wish I had a legitimate reason to be sad because maybe that would make sense and it would be understandable. that sounds so bad, of course I don't really want anything bad to happen to me but I'm just tired of always psychoanalysing myself. This introspection that I'm continuously doing is tiring.
maybe I'm just craving a change and im just tired of the same old shit everyday. my eighteenth birthday is coming up, a perfect chance for a change. maybe its because I physically lack control in my life as well as emotionally and mentally, so the logic here is that me changing something is a message to myself that I have the ability to create change and that will always be in my control.
...
This is why even though I probably need a therapist or psychiatrist it wouldn't be much help because ive probably worked out what theyre gonna say beforehand a million times.
YOU ARE READING
Guess Issa journal
RandomRead the title dimwit. I'm just gonna be chattin bout anything I wanna get off my chest. A lot of depressing shit so don't read if you're a lil bitch and tryna avoid them "vibes".
