bisexual in denial

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lol alright so here's the story. I'm bisexual. 

its easy enough to type that but im still in the closet because my family is highly homophobic and I would most likely be disowned, get beaten up or die. They believe its a sin to be gay. There's been several occasions where ive found myself in the middle of a homophobic rant with the words 'abomination' 'freak' 'unnatural' and 'faggot' thrown around carelessly because nobody in this family could POSSIBLY be gay. 

its honestly such a struggle and I am struggling really fucking hard trying to keep it to myself because even though I say I don't care what people think, there's always some part of myself that does. I know that I could talk to some of my friends about it because they're not gonna see it as a problem but to say it would be to accept it and idk if I can do that.

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