Guess Issa journal

random poetry

sometimes I just want to be loved

other times I'm good with being ignored

invisible to the world, stuck on repeat and unbeloved.

innocence, happiness and complete bliss

all things I want restored

I wanna reminisce 

to the times when I didn't feel trapped in a black hole of an abyss

to the times when id go to sleep

not tear stained, nor struggling to count sheep

I miss being able to interact without dreaming of a noose 

wrapped like a tendon coil round my neck

or pills fighting their way down my throat...substance abuse. 

am I always going to be stuck?

in the past, in the memories or in my fantasies?

or are they all the same in the end?

lacking discrepancies. emotional vacancy. suicidal tendencies.