Lost To The River

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I've always loved water and wanted to be part of the river,
Just journeying over the earth in a peaceful calm,
I always wanted to feel the cool relief that the icy torrents bring,
To be numbed to emotions by its sheer velocity,
I wanted to be human and revel in the emotions of joy,
But I wanted to run to the river when life just became too much,
When life became too colourful for my mind to comprehend,
When the noises surround me like an angry storm,
Pressing in on me and sucking the air from my lungs,
When life became too much for me to simply comprehend,
I wanted the simplicity of just the water and the earth,
I am fire and I am passion, though I try to ground myself to the earth,
I hate change though the air tries to move me,
I fear the unknown and so the river's destination terrifies me,
My passions fuel me but they drive me recklessly,
Burning all in it's path until I am left in a pit of ash,
But the heat remains and keeps me warm,
And I know that Phoenix's rise from this colourless death,
So I surround myself with the fire and embrace the dark and the light,
I touch the shadows and I bask in the glow,
Though I still dream of that river and the peace it may bring,
And though I may run to it when the flames burn my skin,
I will grab life with my body bared and expose myself to the blisters,
I will forge myself ahead and face the tornado of calamity,
I will blaze my path through the earth, knowing rest is for the dead,
And I will lose myself to the river with all of its rage and its calm.

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