Thomas Sangster & Newt Imagines

Let him go || Newt

Leaving Newt behind was the hardest thing I have ever done since I can remember. Seeing his body laying on the cold floor ground brought back painful memories. Even if Thomas and Minho returned to recover his body the next morning after breaking in and destroying WICKED's headquarters, I still remained numb and refused to see him like that.

The other Gladers and the people from the other Mazes have built a commemorative monument for those who have died and they have written their names all over it. Newt's name was there; also Theresa's.

The recovered bodies have been buried in the woods, a quiet and peaceful place that reminded me of the Dead Heads. Newt would have loved the place; he used to tell me in the last few weeks how much he was missing the Glade.

Days and nights I cried until I fell asleep; until Thomas finally dragged me out of the tent and pushed me into the river to get me to my senses again.

"The time for grieving has passed, Y/N! We need some help around here", Thomas yelled at me.

"What do you know about grieving, Thomas?!", I yelled back, pushing him into the water.

He gave me a hurtful look and clenched his teeth.

"Teresa died too, remember?!"

"Teresa was a traitor! WICKED took Minho and forced us to go and find him! If she hadn't told them our location they would have never find us! We would have never gone in that doomed city full of Cranks! And Newt would have been alive!" I yelled so hard at him that my throat has become sore already.

"She was sorry, okay?! She tried to find a cure to save Newt, but the others have found us too late!"

"This is not an excuse for stabbing him, you damn idiot! He was your best friend!" I reached the hem of his shirt and pulled at it, wanting to rip it off of his body. Then I punched his chest as hard as I could for a couple of times, until I felt myself calm again.

Thomas didn't say anything during my crisis; he just stood there and let me yell and hit him, but crying in the same time.

"I didn't stab him, Y/N", he whispered through his tears. "He stabbed himself."

He grabbed my shoulders and shook my body, making me look into his eyes.

"Before that, he wanted to pull a bullet into his head", he said. "I stopped him then. And I wanted to stop him when he attacked me with the knife too. But in the last second he turned the knife and stabbed himself ", he sighed. "I didn't foresee that."

It was for the first time that he told me the whole story. I felt lost hearing that and I glared at him with a haunted look in my eyes.

"He did that to himself?", I asked a bit confused.

Thomas nodded and let go of my shoulders. We were both quiet now, trying to regain our breaths after so much yelling and arguing. On land, the others were looking at us, concerned written on all faces.

I wanted to hold back my tears, but I started to shake my head in denial.

"Why would he do that?", I repeated over and over again.

"He didn't want you to see him like that. Even if Minho had gotten back with the serum, it would have been too late for him. He was already long past the gone", Thomas explained.

I sighed and pulled away from him, nodding at his words.

"Thank you for telling me this", I said and walked away from him and towards the land.

It was good to hear Thomas' explanation and the fact that I knew he didn't kill Newt put my heart at ease.

It was a windy day and I was thankful when Brenda approached me and put a coat over my shoulders when I got out of the water.

"You're freezing, let's get you some dry clothes", she said.

I looked at her and I remembered how Thomas cured her a couple of months ago. If we only knew that Newt was not Immune... But we found out too late; he hasn't even told us until we noticed his sudden changes in his mood and behavior. He couldn't hide it anymore.

It was the evening after the funerals when all these memories came back and all I wanted was some time alone with myself. I hadn't accepted yet the fact that Newt was gone.

As I watched the beautiful sunset, I remembered how he loved this moment of the day back in the Glade. We were always watching it together. He would put an arm around my waist and I would rest my head on his shoulder and it was the most relaxing moment of the day. After that we would have said good night to the other Gladers and went inside our little room to get ready for bed. We would have long night talks about our previous lives; the way they could have been if we weren't trapped inside the Maze. He would hold me in his arms the whole night and I would sleep like a baby hearing his beating heart.

And the mornings were even more beautiful, waking up next to him felt like a blessing; his ruffled dirty blonde hair and groans, his red eyes still heavy of sleep. First thing in the morning he would kiss my lips and snuggle against my neck, making me giggle. You wouldn't have said he was The Second in Command of the Glade.

"Hey, you!", Thomas snapped me out of my thoughts as he sat down next to me on the hill.

I looked at him and nodded, but said nothing.

"Are you alright?", he asked again.

I took a deep breath before answering. My memories were the only ones that kept me going on and snapping me out of them was like a cold shower.

"Yes", I simply said, "just remembering the good old days in the Glade."

Thomas smiled and patted my back, agreeing with me.

"Look, I've been meaning to give you something", he said becoming serious again. "I am sorry I haven't given you this before, but I didn't know when the best moment would be."

"What are you talking about?", I asked him.

He then took off a necklace and gave it to me.

"Newt wanted you to have this."

Thomas handed me a small container that was tied to a string.

"He said you should have it; to remember of him."

My eyes got moistened at the sight of it and took it carefully like it was the most precious thing on Earth.

"Thank you, Thomas!", I said and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. "Thank you so much!"

I felt him sobbing and wrapping his arms around me too.

"This is so unfair", he said. "I wish you could have had something more to remember of him!"

I slowly pulled away and smiled at him, putting Newt's necklace around my neck. I felt much better holding something I knew it belonged to him.

"It's not everything I have", I told him.

He looked at me and whipped his eyes, smiling for a bit.

"Oh really? Have you managed to save a photo from WICKEDs files or something?"

"Even better", I chuckled.

I took Thomas' hand and gently put it on my belly. I smiled then, waiting for his reaction. He looked at me in disbelieve at first, but then started to smile and a few tears ran down his cheeks.

"Are you sure?!", he asked me.

"Trust me Thomas, a woman knows", I winked at him.

He was the first person I have told about my pregnancy. He had the right to find out first, as he was Newt's best friend and one of my closest friends.

"He would have been so happy", Thomas said and I nodded, resting my head on his shoulder.

It was the moment I knew I could finally let HIM go.