WALPURGIA ✔️

Chapter 30 - Black void in my heart

☽

White nothingness. I couldn't make out a single thing.

Where was I?

Confused, I glanced around – I had no clue where I was.

Where was I? Where was I?

The hands traced my face, exactly the way I loved it.

For a moment, I forgot about my lingering question and enjoyed the feeling of warmth.

The more I let myself fall, the more it came to me.

The lightweight feeling of my body made me realize I was still dreaming.

So, I closed my eyes again.

To join Esme again.

"Wake up."

My heart beat once strongly.

My eyes fluttered open.

No.

No!

It couldn't be!

"Wake up, hamsar-am."

The strong craving from ever since I said goodbye to him – it came back in full force, dizziness accompanying it.

My whole body stiffened at the desire. Baldwin. Baldwin. Baldwin. I reached out for him.

Baldwin crouched next to me, hovering above me with a striking, beaming smile. A toothy one. A hearty smile that was so rare – a hidden gem.

He let me touch him – I traced his trimmed beard, it pleasantly scratching my palms and his smile only widened. I sobbed.

Baldwin – how much I loved him! How beautiful he is!

The raven black curls. The tanned skin. The deep green eyes. The stern shape of his lips.

It was him. It was really, really, really him.

He was more beautiful than I had remembered him to be.

The eyes were even more striking – chilling, than I had in mind.

Raven black – darker than I had envisioned him.

Baldwin extended his tanned hand. I spotted his scars, a stark white contrast to his sand coloured skin. Hot tears instantly rushed down my face.

"Why are you here?" He helped me up.

I almost glued myself onto him.

Touch me more.

Love me – swallow me whole.

Baldwin was wearing the dark green shirt I had long, long ago bought with him. Along with the fitting pair of dark grey trousers.

"What are you talking about? I'm always by your side."

"Not now."

"How else are we talking to each other?", his barking laugh made it hard for me to swallow.

His loving touches – his knuckles brushing my cheek, his fluttering kisses on my eyes, the way he held me.

It all felt so painfully wrong.

"You are not real." It was achingly obvious. This wasn't my Baldwin.

It was the Baldwin from many years ago, the one that still had many changes to go through.