Written 02/03/18
Blakes pov
We were fifteen and in love. Goddamn we were in love and everytime we were told we were too young to be in love, I swear we both fell harder.
Maybe it was the summer days that stretched into nights that turned into sunsets by the beach, maybe it was the looming illness, the threat of it all being snatched from us, but somehow we were in love.
She was beautiful. We met in the spring. We had both just turned fifteen.
She didn't tell me anything at first, I found it so hard to get through to her. But eventually I managed to tear down her walls and she opened up.
We spent all our time together. Our parents told us off, our friends complained and our school work suffered.
We often snuck out late at night to meet together, in the park or down by the beach.
We shared our first kiss in a hospital room, our second on the beach at 2am and our third with both of us in tears, if only we knew there'd be no more after that.
She was sitting in a hospital bed, wires and machines hooked up and beeping, her eyes were wide with terror. We both thought she would die, but neither of us spoke it aloud.
"Blake", her fragile voice whispered, but underneath it all she still sounded like her, the girl I was falling for.
She patted the small single bed beside her and I slipped into it, holding her close and hoping her mother wouldn't re-enter the room.
"Sing to me", she pleaded.
I obliged, carefully singing her favourite songs to her, one after the other. She fell asleep quite quickly but I kept singing, scared to let go.
When she woke up I was still by her side, tired myself, but I never let myself fall asleep because she needed me. She gently pressed her cracked lips to mine.
Later I would find out her mum stood, tears brimming in her eyes as she watched her daughters first kiss, a milestone she thought she'd never reach.
She made a full recovery that time, after scaring us all. And she swore it was down to me.
She was on the beach, laughing and dragging me into the water, wearing just her underwear because it was an unplanned swim.
She dove underneath and I swam alongside her. Eventually we both rose to the top and she threw her head back, taking in every inch of the night sky, her long golden hair dripped down her back and the drops reunited with the ocean.
"Look. There is so much out there I'll never see", she said
"You will. I promise you", I told her firmly, not quite believing but wishing and dreaming.
She smiled and closed the gap between us, her wet body pressing against mine firmly, she leaned her forehead against mine and exhaled happily.
She smiled like I'd never seen her smile before.
I looked into her eyes and her eyes flickered to my lips. I raised my brows and she laughed. I leaned forward and felt my head spinning. I imagined how many times I wanted to kiss her like this. I wanted no one else.
We spent so many days on the beach, so many that, now that she's gone, I can't bring myself to go back there and see her. Laughing in the sea and lying stretched out across the sand, begging me to dance and sing with her. Looking up at the stars and wishing she were them. She got her damn wish.
She was telling me goodbye. She was telling me she wished she had more time, we had more time, but the doctors had told her to prepare for the worst. She wanted to warn me, that there'd be a funeral and there'd be crying and mourning. That she'd die and it was inevitable. She was only fifteen.
I told her she couldn't leave me and she said she had to and I had to keep living and chasing my dream, she made me promise.
When she asked if she could spend one more night with me down by the beach, I couldn't say no.
This time there was no laughing or swimming. She sat on the sand and watched the waves crash. I wondered what she was thinking, she wouldn't tell me.
Instead a tear rolled down her cheeks. It hadn't gotten to her lips before there were streams along my own.
She told me through racking sobs that she never thought she'd meet someone like me. I began to speak but she cut me off, placing a finger against my lips.
She said she needed me to always chase what i wanted in life because someday, unexpectedly, it would be torn from me, just like it was from her.
I made too many promises that day.
She pressed her lips against mine for the last ever time and all I tasted was salt. Salty tears, a heavy heart and sadness.
I waited all week with her in hospital but she was too sick to talk. Still, I sang to her while she laid, unresponsive before me and I cried, my teardrops hitting the guitar strings, and my sniffles interrupting the lyrics.
She looked so peaceful, the girl who never got to live her dreams.
It made me chase mine, for her. I needed to do what She'd wanted me to do.
Every night when I stand on that stage, I don't see the fans eyes, I don't see the flashlights from their phones, swaying from side to side. I see the stars at the beach. The stars she loved.
I see her, embedded into the night sky at the beach.
And every night when the show is over I look to the sky, but somehow she isn't there. I only see her in my dreams, living my dreams on the stage, but dreams all the same.
Where she belongs.
Feel like I'm not yet finished with this one but let me know what you think. I could possibly write a part two.
