Written- 07/05/18
Oh my god you beautiful babes!!! You'll never guess what has happened!!! (Make sure to read a/n at the end for all the gossip on nhc)
I HIT 5 BLOODY THOUSAND READS!!!! YOU ARE ALL INCREDIBLE!!! IM SO SHOCKED! WTAHYour POV
I brought my guitar down to the river. I always did that when I needed to get some emotions out, right now I wasn't feeling happy in the least.I had just been declined a job that I'd wanted for ages. My confidence was completely knocked and I had cried my eyes out in secret. I'm never one to speak about how I'm feeling.
Right now I needed to play, I needed to release all the emotions building up inside.
I laid my jacket across the wet grass and plonked on top of it. I grabbed my guitar and held it close to my body
"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't. It isn't in blood"The words left my lips and my fingers began to pluck the strings, instantly I felt better.
"Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing. I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something"
The lyrics consumed me. The were so relevant to how I was feeling right now, insecure for sure.
"I can take to ease my mind, slowly.
Just have a drink and you'll feel better, just take her home and you'll feel better. Keep telling me that it gets better.
Does it ever?"I could hear the river gently running in the background and the guitar meshed with my voice perfectly. I have always loved to sing but have always struggled with my confidence.
"Help me. It's like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't. It isn't in my blood"
My voice began building and I started to get really lost in the music. By the time I had finished singing I was in tears, but I wasn't sad anymore. Singing does that to me, makes me emotional while letting me be rid of my emotions.
My friends say that I feel music very deeply. I don't think I really understood what they meant until now.Sitting on a riverbank, in tears, but finally feeling free and happy. Feeling like I have washed it all out of my system.
Sometimes I wish I could play to people, people who aren't my mum or best friend. Sometimes I wish I had the confidence to be like the artists I see in concert or hear on the radio.
I wish I could be successful, but at the same time I want to hide, too insecure to allow myself to think what if?••
I stumbled around the mess in my room. My phone was lying face down on my desk and vibrating constantly.
I picked it up and a picture of me and my best friend from last year filled my screen.Y/b/f/n 💓😍💓
"Hey", I answered.
"Y/n!", I was met with a squeal, my name, and another squeal.
"Yes?", I questioned, confused.
"Have you been on YouTube?", she asked.
"Not since yesterday", I replied suspiciously.
"Have you been on Twitter?"
"Nope. Not since breakfast", I answered."Ugh. Where have you been?", she groans. I could imagine her rolling her eyes.
"Umm, i went down to the river a while ago", I offer.
"Well I know that", she sighs, another eye roll probably.
I wrinkle my brow, I don't remember telling her that."How-",
"Check YouTube trending right now!", she demands, cutting me off and suddenly ending our call.I bring my phone back over to my bed and drag my laptop onto my lap. I enter YouTube and wait for the trending list to load.
