indecisive (on hold)

13.

(247 days before)

 Harry’s POV

I wake to the sound of pots clattering. I look to my side to find the bed empty, the sheets wrinkled.  I feel my heart sink, I wanted to wake up to her. Not an empty spot. The spot is still warm from her body. I fall back onto the bed and inhale deeply. It relaxes me immediately and my makes my heart speed up. This girl is doing so many things to me, I don't even understand what she's doing. I just know it's amazing and I wouldn't change a thing.

I stretch and make my way downstairs, following the noise. It leads me into the kitchen and there I see her. She’s still dressed in her pajamas, a messy bun done on her head. It's only the back of her and she's so beautiful.

“Good morning,” I call from the doorway.

She jumps slightly, but recovers.”Good morning, Harry.” She returns, facing the wall.

I walk towards her and look over her shoulder. She’s making macaroni and cheese. Macaroni and cheese? For breakfast? I don't mind. I like mac and cheese. I chuckle lightly before moving away to a stool.

“How’d you sleep,?” I question, my voice raspier than usual.

“Good.” She replies, her voice flat. “You?”

“I slept lovely, love.” I smile, hoping for a reaction from her. She slightly smiles and nods. She hands me a bowl and we eat in silence.

“This is really good.” I compliment her, pointing to the dish with my fork.

“Thanks.”

I look up from my bowl to study her face. It’s hard, showing no emotion. Her brows are furrowed and she has a crease between them. The corners of her mouth are pulled down into a slight frown. Her eyes aren't sparkling. She picks at her food, obviously not hungry.

“Are you alright?” I ask. She’s been cold to me this morning and I can’t help but wonder, why?

“Fine.” She murmurs, placing her dish in the sink.

I follow behind her. I stop her before she can move past me. I stare at her, hoping to telepathically get a real answer from her.

“I need to go get ready.” She barely whispers, avoiding my gaze. I let go of her shoulders and she shuffles past me.  I follow her up the stairs.

“Liz.” I call behind her. She ignores me. “Liz!” I call again, louder this time.

“What?” She snaps, as she turns to face me.  

“What the hell is the matter with you? You’ve been cold all morning. What’s wrong?”

“I said nothing, Harry.”

“Just cause you said nothing does not mean it’s nothing.”

She stares at me. She wipes her hand over face. She stares at me, then looks at the floor. Repeat.

“Liz, you can tell me.” I take a step closer to her. She stands still, but lifts her eyes from the floor.

“I just...last night...and me wanting you to stay...I just needed someone...I’m sorry. I didn’t know if you thought something about it or...” She trails off, trying to find her words.

“Liz.” I stop her jabbering. “You had a nightmare. You needed someone. I was there. That’s what friends are for.” I move to hug her. She immediately wraps her around around my body. Her head resting on my chest.

“Thank God. I didn’t want that to ruin what we were starting to have as friends.”  She breathes into my chest.

My heart deflates a little at her words. "Friends". That’s all we were and that's all we would ever be. But I wanted more. I mean, at least I think I did. No. I know I wanted more. The way it felt sleeping next to her. It’s something I haven’t felt in...ages. But I wasn’t going to be selfish. Just having her around was enough.