indecisive (on hold)

23.

We clink our glasses and set them back down. I pick up my fork and take a bite of the pasta in front of me. I can feel Harry's eyes on me, watching my reaction. I close my eyes and moan. This is so good.

"Harry. Did you make this?" I ask pointing to the spaghetti.

He nods, a blush creeping onto his face. "Yes. Is it good?"

"It's amazing!" I exclaim and mean it.

His smile grows as does mine. I still can't believe Harry did all of this. For me. It's crazy to think about. This boy is dating me. This boy wants to hang out with me. This boy did all of this for me. This boy actually likes me. This boy wants to be around me. This boy saw something in me, no one else did. I can't comprehend any of it. I just forget my thoughts and let it be. Well, for now.

Are we moving to fast? Probably. I mean, I met him last month and talked to him for two days. Then we didn't speak for another month. I go to college and he returns. I hang out with him for a week. Then, boom, we are dating. It's a little crazy to think about. In fact, it is completely insane. But, at this point I no longer care. No, I do care. Just not as much. It's time to stop being such a pussy and enjoy college. Enjoy life.

He hasn't been with me for so, so long, yet, he still has this spell on me. I am trapped. Constantly living in fear of him. Maybe, Harry can break that. Maybe, there's a chance he can be the angel in my hell.

"I am still in awe, Harry." I confess, looking around for the millionth time. I mean, a candlelit dinner by my favorite place in the world, under the stars. This is every girl's cheesy dream. "That's only in movies." Yes, it is. But now, it is in my reality.

"You do beautiful things for beautiful people."

His voice is deep and slow. He holds this look in his eyes I can't quite read. Lust? Hope? Sadness? His face is hard, yet soft. He isn't smiling, but he isn't intimidating. His eyes are dark, but I can see the stars dance in them. I am caught off guard by his response, but then again, everything Harry does catches me off guard. I look at my frail hand, which is resting to the right of my plate.

"Did my response upset you?" His voice is full of worry. I am still amazed by him. He looks so tough, so dangerous. He can be, I have seen him get "violent" a few times before, and I know that wasn't his worst. Yet, here he is, the most caring person on planet. I shake my head quickly.

"Of course not. It just...made me think." I give him a small smile and take a drink of my champagne.

"It seems everything I say makes you think." He says, lowly, but there is humor in it.

I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. Why does everything he says leave me speechless? Instead, I smile. A real smile. He is right. I process all of his words and I create these little thoughts. It's hard to describe the thoughts, but they make me feel hope. Hope for something I don't quite know yet.

"See, you're doing it again." He points out, his accent is thick. His eyes are bright and full of life. I look at my food, which is nearly gone. It is so good.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I lick my lips as the words leave my mouth. I look back at Harry and his eyes are fixed on my mouth. I watch as he licks his lips, mimicking my action. I cough, breaking his gaze. He blinks a few times before looking at his own food. I quickly finish mine and lean back in my chair, taking in this amazing moment. Harry finishes his food and leans back, taking deep breaths.

"What's your favorite place in the world?" His voice snaps me from my tranquil state. I sit up quickly, bumping my knee on the table.

"What do you mean?" My voice is shaky, I don't know why. Calm down. He asked you a question.

"What is your favorite place? Like a country? A store? A town? A building? Anything." He cocks his head to right and crosses his arms over his chest, waiting for my answer.

"What's yours?" I retaliate to delay my answer. I know what it is, but I feel oddly protective over it.

"I asked you first, Elizabeth Rose." His smirk is pulled up high on the left side of his face.

I sigh in defeat.

"Here."

"What?" He sits up.

"Here. This is my favorite place. The pond." I move my arm to gesture to the scenery around me. He looks around and smiles, nodding.

"I can see why." He looks back at me. I can't hold his gaze, his eyes are too intense. I look away.

"What's yours?" I question as I watch the light dance on the water's surface.

"I don't have one." His voice is low. I snap my head to look at him and he is staring at his hands under the table.

"How could you not have one?" My voice holds disbelief.

How can someone not have a favorite place? There is always that one place that a person enjoys the most, even if they don't realize it. It's the one place where you feel completely at ease. Nothing can hurt you and there;s nothing to worry aboyt because you're safe.

"I just don't." He shrugs and lifts his eyes to meet mine.

I cock my head slightly. My mind is still racing with shock and denial. Maybe someone can, not have a favorite place. It is a little strange, but I guess that could happen.

"Come on, it's late. Let's go home." He smiles and I nod. I notice the way he didn't say 'take you home', but I don't call him out on it. We stand.

"Wait, what about the table and plates?" I ask as we begin to walk away.

"Don't worry about it. I will get it tomorrow."

He shrugs it off, placing his left hand on the small of my back. I feel hesitant, but I nod. We walk back to Harry's car and he opens the door for me. I climb inside and strap myself in. Harry walks quickly around the front and pulls himself into the drivers side. We pull away from the lake and he drives on a gravel road I have never noticed before. The road is long and when we reach the end I see that it is around the corner from my building. I step out of the car and Harry is right by my side. His hand finds mine and he laces our fingers together. I look down to hide my smile. I feel fireworks from his touch alone. He could probably poke me and I would orgasm. Okay, not that much, but you get the point.

We climb the stairs and reach my door in no time. My heart feels a little heavy that this amazing night is now ending. If I had the option to live it over again and again, I would say yes in a heartbeat.

"Harry, I can't thank you enough. Tonight was...indescribable. It was perfect and amazing and beautiful and it was just a dream come true. Thank you so much." I ramble. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and mine go around his waist. I hug him tightly as he kisses my forehead.

"I'm so happy you liked it because I would gladly do it again to see you like this." He gestures to the smile on my face. I feel my cheeks heat and I nuzzle my face into his chest. It begins to vibrate as his laugh fills my head. I look up at him and he leans down, placing a kiss to my lips. I break away and unlock my door.

"Bye, Harry. Thank you so much for the billionth time." I step inside and turn to look at him in my doorway.

"It was nothing and I will see you soon, Elizabeth Rose." He pulls his lip ring between his teeth. I nod and wait for him to walk away, but he never does. He just rocks awkwardly on the balls of his feet.

"Do you want to have a sleepover, Harry?" I smirk and he blushes.

He nods and steps inside as I shut the door. "I thought you would never ask."