indecisive (on hold)

30.

(182 days before)

Liz's POV

I open my eyes and everything is groggy. What happened? I look to my right and Harry is there. He's holding my hand and he's muttering words. His head is bent and he's blurry. I try to blink to make the vision clearer, but he's still fuzzy. I feel slow. Everything is slow and heavy. I barely feel my body. I feel weighed to the bed. My eyelids are heavy, but I refuse to let them shut. I try to take a deep breath, but it's hard. Beyond hard. My chest feels like it's crushing my lungs. I feel the cannula around my face, helping me to breathe. The air tickles my nostrils, but I feel to weak to do anything. I feel slow. What happened? What's happening?

I shut my eyes and desperately try to breathe. Why is it so hard?

"Lord...tell me what's happened...."

What was that?

"Why didn't I stay to help her..."

It can't be...

"Why is this happening to her.."

Oh my God.

I force myself to open my eyes further. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. I stare at Harry's lips as they move. The words I hear match his lip movements. Oh my God...

"Harry?" My voice is raspy and my throat burns, but I fight away the pain.

His head raises. His eyes are glossy and red. His cheeks are red. He's been crying.

"Harry? What's going on?"

Then I hear it. It hits me. It hits me so fucking hard. My hearing. It's back. Oh my God. My hearing is back. Everything is small and distant, but I can hear. I can fucking hear. This is unreal. This isn't real. My voice is lower than I would have imagined, but I do not care. I. Can. Hear.

Harry's eyes widen and he reaches for the notepad. I quickly grab his hand to stop him. My smile is wide and his facial expression is confused. I can't control my smile, it hurts my cheeks. I feel my eyes swell with tears and his eyes widen.

"You don't need to use that anymore."

His eyes bulge from his head and his mouth parts. I see him pick up his breathing. He stands up and backs away slowly. Why is he leaving me?

My smile drops and I feel panic.

He opens his mouth.

Everything is slow.

"Elizabeth?"

I can't take it.

I burst into tears. I nod rapidly. His voice. I can hear it. It's deep and I hear his thick accent. It's more amazing than I had dreamed. I want to hug him. I want to hug him because his voice is the first one I have heard. My hearing is back. I can't comprehend any of this.

"Yes, Harry?"

He nearly tackles me. One hand is behind my head, holding me in place. The other is around my waist, pulling me as close as possible. My arms wrap around his body. He feels so warm and comforting. This is such a happy moment, but a part of me is still in sorrow. I want to be able to feel the way about Harry I did before. Maybe then I would feel more in this moment. Yes, this moment is overwhelming, but maybe I should be feeling more. I push the thoughts to the back of my mind and I focus on the sounds around the hospital. I hear the rapid beating of the heart monitor and the soft hum of the ventilator. I hear Harry's soft whimpering and I hear the sniffle of my nose.

"Elizabeth. Oh my God. My Elizabeth Rose."

"My."

Were we still a thing? Did I still want to be in a relationship with Harry? I don't remember the way I felt with him and I don't remember anything about him.