indecisive (on hold)

35.

Liz's POV

"I love you, Elizabeth Rose."

The statement played again and again. He can't love me. He can't. His eyes stayed fixed on mine and I stared back into his. I couldn't look anywhere else for I was frozen. Frozen in fear. He doesn't love me. He can't. The rapid beat of my heart picks up even more and I can feel a panic attack coming, but I need to remain calm. A task rather difficult in this moment. The air is sucked out of my lungs. I can't breathe.

"Say something," he begs.

What was I supposed to say? I could barely think. "Love". That wasn't a word you could just toss around; no, it meant something. And I was afraid of what it meant. Did I love Harry? I don't know. How could I not know?

"Liz. Please, answer me."

"H-harry..." I chocked on the words as they refused to come out. I had not the slightest clue what to say or what to think or what to even feel.

My mind races. Love. He loved me. No, he didn't. No, he can't love me. He's just confused is all. That's all that is.

"Harry, I think you're just confused."

"What?"

"You don't love me."

I said the words before my mind could catch up. I process what I had just spoken, but I make no effort to take the words back. It was true. He didn't love me. He was simply caught up in the moment. That's all it was.

"What? Yes I do." His eyes scrunch in confusion. His forehead now creased and mouth tilting into a frown.

"No, Harry. You don't. You're just caught up in the moment is all. You don't love me."

"Elizabeth, stop it. I know what I feel. I love you."

I shook my head and began to climb out of bed. I continued to shake my head as my feet carried me to the bathroom. I could hear the sheet being thrown off his beautiful body and I could hear the heaviness in his footsteps as he followed me.

My heart beat had not let up since his lie was spoken. "I love you, Elizabeth Rose." Oh, what a silly thing to say. How could he say such a thing?

"What's the matter with you?"

I turned and looked at him. The confusion was no longer on his face. No, it was anger. Why was he angry? I was simply sorting out whatever he was feeling. I wasn't mad that he lied to me, even though I should be. No. I just need to sort out whatever this is. He didn't love me. What a horrible lie to tell.

"Nothing is the matter with me. I just don't like when you lie to me."

"Lie?"

"Yes."

"You think I'm lying to you?"

"I know you are."

I continue to walk into the bathroom. I approach the mirror and I see a girl. Her hair is messy from having slept and moved in that state. Her cheeks are flushed and her lips are swollen. I see her eyes. They're gray. Was that girl me? How am I not feeling anything right now? I should be feeling so many things. Why haven't my eyes changed?

"Elizabeth." Harry's voice is hard. He grips my arm and makes me face him. His face is stern and his face is twisted in anger. I look at his eyes. They're so dark. "I love you."

"Stop saying that."

"But I do."

"No you don't."

"Elizabeth. I l-"

"Don't say it again." I cut his voice off with my own and I am surprised by the harshness that is present.