Warrior cats OC Rater (FINISHED)

Stormcloud

Name: Stormcloud
Stormcloud is an actual cat in the series, I'm not sure if you created him before he was introduced but I'll push that aside. Storm is used quite used as well as cloud, but together they make a pretty good and cool name that makes sense. (8.5/10)
Gender: Tom
Coolio
Age: 34 moons at death(2 years and 10 months)
Thank you for the clarification:)
Clan: Thunderclan
Nice
Rank: Elder
Don't get many of those, quite young but I see why he retired early.
Appearance: Black tom with a white underbelly. He has golden eyes and his front left paw has a shorter white sock than the other. personality: Fearful and jumpy. he is scared of everything and everyone. he has high anxiety levels and has almost daily panic attacks which have cost him his warrior status and caused him to become an elder early.
Black and white is quite a regular occurrence in OCs but I'm glad that his form is still quite realistic, could do with some brightening up with some scars or special features. (7/10)
His personality is quite unique compared to other OCs and I like it, but please add some more positive traits. (8/10)
Backstory: Stormkit, his sister Snowkit and his foster sister Eaglekit had a happy life. When Stormkit became Stormpaw he started strangely comparing himself to others and had low confidence. He had no idea why it was happening to him because Eaglepaw seemed to always be full of energy and Snowpaw was always happy with her medicine cat duties. Stormpaw hated his pelt. His boring black and white pelt made him feel bland against the shine of Snowpaw's grey spotted tabby pelt or the soft and fluffy Golden brown tabby pelt of Eaglepaw. Even with these insecurities he still tried to go on forward and if you can believe it he actually made it to become a warrior! His Warriors ceremony was the happiest day of his life. But when a rumour can about that Shadowclan was planning an invasion he and his clan mates prepared to attack Shadowclan in their camp. when the battle began Stormcloud felt a surge of excitement spread through as he fought. at some point, he started fighting a golden she-cat. fighting her was the worst mistake he has ever made. Her fighting moves were slow and clumsy but he took no notice of that. He raised his paw high above her head and slashed his long claws across her neck. Blood spilt out as she came crashing to the ground. When she fell he heard the terrifying yowled of his Snowleopard as she came running towards them. She bent her head close to the golden she-cats chest before raising her head to look at him. her blue eyes shining like fire as she looked at him. "How could you! She was a medicine cat! she has no apprentice to take her place!" Snowleopard hissed as he stared back her with wide horrified eyes. the rest of the event was a blur to him. all he remembers was his own thoughts. he killed a medicine cat. he would never be able to live this down. the next moons where torture. every night all he saw was the same event over and over again. He soon started having headaches and chest pains but he couldn't bring himself to go to the medicine cat. he didn't want to face Snowleopard and feel the shame from her disappointed eyes. When out in the forest with Eagleflight he felt his first panic attack. it came at a very unexpected time. he felt dizzying and everything around him spun. after a few minutes, he passed out. soon he woke again and found he was in the medicine cat den at night with Eagleflight curled around him. her kit swollen belly poking awkwardly out at him. he didn't want to be in there. He could smell Snowleopard in the corner of the den and he didn't want to be anywhere near her. His panic attacks became a regular thing and they came rapidly at him. They prevented him from hunting or fighting and he was soon deducted to an elder. His clan found that it would be easier if he became an elder and he soon shared a den with Squirreltail, a she-cat who has been an elder since he was a kit, and Whitedapple, who was the medicine cat before Snowleopard. One night when most of the clan was away at a gathering. A rogue came into camp through a hole in the elders den, a hole that Squirreltail has been complaining about. At the sound of paws steps on the den, Stormcloud jumped in his next as he stared fearfully at the rogue. Stormcloud shrieked in pain as the rogue attacked him. Whitedapple the first to wake at the shriek ran out of the den and raced towards the entrance to get the warriors there. Who has already began running towards him at the sound of Stormcloud's shriek. When they got to the den they found Stormcloud in the centre with a pool of blood surrounding him. Squirreltail looked at the warriors in fear before telling them what the rogue has told her before leaving. He told her that Stormcloud's death was the only the first of many and that the clans had two choices. To fight or leave the lake forever.
Oh wow! First of all, I give you an applause for writing so much just for a delayed and terrible review XD. Second, I love it! It's unique and unlike others, this is about a cat trying to live down his actions and his lack of confidence and anxiety problems, this story is well planned written. I would love to read his story. (10/10)

Mate: none

Kits: none.

Family: his foster parents are Grayface and Hawkfeather and his siblings are Snowleopard, Eagleflight and Heronkit, a she-kit who died before they arrived. Cause of death: sacrificed as a warning to the clans. Place of residence: Starclan
wELL THATS DARK! Was Heronkit sacrificed by StarClan or by the clans or some attacker and why? I'm curious, I'm sure StarClan wouldn't kill a kit just as a warning and why was he fostered? Well anyways, I love the names, they're quite unique and cool, though, do they have any descriptions? (9/10)

Book(s) he is in so far: raging tempest book 1// Snowstorm

AND THE FINAL SCORE IIIISSSS
42.5/50 (85%)
Stormcloud is a well planned and thought out character with a brilliant backstory that I love, he only has one or two tweaks needed but all in all he is amazing.
Thank you TheStartlingSwallow for the amazing entry, sorry about the long delay, I had some things happening and nearly forgot, sorry 😅 I'll be more efficient soon.