I N H U M A N E

Chapter 21

Alexander's POV

Hopes were fading away. Its been two months staying here at the hospital waiting for her to open her eyes. Black circles around my eyes were getting darker as the days passed. Facial hair are getting thicker. I looked so devastated but I don't care all I care for now was Stella to wake up. I know what will happen after she wakes up and it grips the emotions in my chest. I'll never see her again. I want to clarify and ask the things about our past before we bid our good byes.

I want to ask everything that keeps myself in turmoil such 'Did you really love me?', 'Are you happy with me before?', 'Are you happy with your life now?', and many questions that floods my mind.

I was in the watcher's room when I noticed the group of doctors and nurse rushing towards the I.C.U.. I followed them like what did the other people here in the watcher's room did. Their eyes followed the doctor. And I was shocked when the doctors entered the unit of Stella with defibrillator, oxygen pump and more medical apparatus. I ran until I was on outside of the unit. Tears pooled my eyes. Stella is dying and surrounded by doctors and nurses.

All I did was to stand, cry and crumple in emotion. Until I heard a fast beeping sound then a long beeping sound. I abruptly stand up. A doctor was going to use a defibrillator. When a nurse asked me to stay outside. But I didn't listen to her. I stood at my place watching Stella trying to be revived by the doctors.

But a group of nurse asked me stay outside. I didn't protest since thwy closed the curtain of the unit. I was now sitting outside the I.C.U. waiting for news. Until the glass door clicked. I stand quickly and the door revealed the doctor who used defbrillator to Stella.

"How is Stella Doc?" I was quivering in fear of what might be the doctor's reply.

"We revived her and she's stable now." I was so happy that Stella didn't give up her life. And now I will hope for her to wake up.

Days had passed but her status was slowly improving but the good thing is she was transferred to a room. I was staring at her eyes.

"Please Stella open your eyes. I'm getting tired. Please I want to clarify things between us. Stella were not meant for each other we are like hot and cold, negative and positive, water and oil. No matter what happens in the end it's not us. We love each other but we kept hurting one another. We love each other but we have to save ourselves first. But we can save ourselves by a good bye. I want you to hear my good byes and I want to hear your good byes before I'll leave. I want to leave without a burden in my chest and mountain of regret carrying on my shoulder. Please open your eyes Stella. I'm tired and dying if I keep staying beside you." I cried out my feelings. It is true I'm tired but not to her. I am tired of us. I was holding her hands gently feeling the warmth of her hands. I tucked her hair and kissed her cheeks. A tear dripped from eyes dripped down from my eyes to her cheeks.

I wasn't expecting what happened next. I felt a warm liquids gushing around my lips that kissed her cheek. I heard a soft yet pained sob. I felt somebody hold my hands. It was fragile and th feeling was familiar. I looked at Stella and her eyes were opened wide but pooled with tears.

"Alex are you tired of me?" She said but this time. She said in the Stella I knew. Stella who calls me Alex. Stella I love and Stella who left me.

I remained silent watching her eyes. Her weak state is vulnerable. Then her eyes released tears like it was a shower of tears.

"Ask me Alexander if I am tired" She dared me to ask the same question.

"Are you tired of me Stella?" I asked her that made her intensely cry. She shook her head that made me shocked.

"Ever since Alex I never get tired of  you. I'm not tired of loving you even my body was dying I never get of you Alex. Even I suffered a lot. I got huge travails in my life. I forgot you. I was not tired and I'm not going to get tired Alex." Disapointment was visible on her face.

"But you left me." I said that made her shook her head.

"I didn't left you Alex. I was kidnapped." I was caught off-guard. What? She was kidnappes!? I am getting crazy. I am so confused.

"I was happy to announce that I was pregnant at that time. I was cooking dinner when Jason barged in our house and threated me to kill me and our baby. He forced me to write a letter or else he will shot the baby. I don't have any choice but to write what's on the paper he gave to me. I was crying when he was drving me outside from the village. Driving me away from you. He was about to go to the place that I do not know when we fell on a cliff. The next thing I knew I woke up without memories. I woke up from being comatose for 5 months. I don't remember anything because I have selective amnesia. All my memories after I was about to say 'I do' to Jason. I didn't knew that time that the wedding didn't turn out well. I concluded that the I and Jason were married. And the same day I woke I was pregnant. I bore the child and named it Pilo Rios Haravejo. I named him Haravejo for the thought he was Jason's flesh and blood but I was wrong it was your son, our son Alex. I was released from the hospital after a year. I was walking like a stray dog while carrying Pilo and the heavy bag in the scum streets." Her voice cracked how many times while she was telling what happened to her.
She suffered more than I expected. It was far from my thoughts that she was happy and contentes and here she is suffering and almost died.

"But there was a two old couple who let us stay in their house. For a month my life was smooth sailing. I was so happy with Pilo beside me and Kuya Tino and Ate Lita was there to support me but one day I discovered I have a Colon Cancer stage 4. I lost hope to fight for my life. I gave Pilo away. I gave him to you accidentally. I didn't know it was your parent's house but I was glad that I accidentally gave our son to you, his father. I was ready to die that's why I gave Pilo away but the fate was playful I survived the cancer. It was miracle but it was a nightmare for me. I wished I didn't survive I gave Pilo away and I was ready to die. I done a lot to harm myself and many times about to cut my life. I was suicidal and dpresses." I hugged her tighlty and I felt her sobs on my chest.
She hugged me back and continued her story.

"I felt purposeless and useless thats why I decided to be a whore, prostitute, escort and a bed warmer in that I might feel the use of myself in the world. It was my first day as a prostitute that day. I was so determined to feel the uses I wantes to feel even I'll waste and throw my life to trash. I was so desperate until I saw. Everything about you was familiar but-" I places my finger on her lips and hugged her again. I patted her back that made her cry louder in my chest. She was hugging me tightly.

"I'm sorry Stella. It must've be you who is tired not me. I'm sorry Stella for not fighting you. Mind ruled over my heart. I was corrupted by anger and pain. I hurt you. Please forgive me for everything Stella. I am really tired but you aren't. It must be me in your position. Please Stella forgive. Even thou I'm tired, I love you." I was asking for her forgiveness. It is Stella, my baby who suffered the most and I added her sufferings with hands and actions.

She caress my cheek and her face glimmered a smile. "No matter if you had hurt me Alex. I still love you. And please Alex don't get tired of me." She said and we kissed passionately. The kiss I've been craving for decade.

"Pilo has kidnapped by Jason" A shout from the door stopped us.

Impossible.