Insanity Bites |z.m| |h.s|

Chapter 60: Revenge

Derek's face seemed pixelated as I stared up at him. It was weird watching him speak but never hearing the words that came out of his mouth.

My body felt numb all over I couldn't seem to move. I felt paralyzed as I tried to muster up enough energy to actually do something. My head felt like it had split open with the amount of pain radiating through. 

I closed my eyes for a moment suddenly wanting give in to the weakness that came over me. Maybe if I closed my eyes he would disappear and the searing pain in my head would disappear too. Everything would just vanish.

Derek was on top of me. That I knew but I couldn't feel him do anything. The only reminder I had was the weight of his body on mine. It was the only thing telling me that this wasn't a nightmare.

Rape.

I stirred slightly, my eyes struggling to focus on his blurred face. I heard the word, I know I heard it. He must have said it. 

I blinked profusely and moved my head trying to shake out the dizziness.

"You deserve this, Rosalie. I'm going to make you regret ever messing with me," Derek spat and I was unsure if the liquid that hit my face was his spit or perspiration. 

I felt pressure in my fingers and realized I had attempted to dig my nails into the tiled floor. Tears slid down the side of my face as I focused on the ceiling above us. I wanted to just disappear into thin air like the vapor around us.

Could Zayn hear any of this? Was he going to come and save me like he did the last time? 

"I'm sorry," I managed to choke out. It felt like my larnyx had constricted and I was incapable of speaking. Even if I did manage a scream, who would hear me? We were behind the vast empty basketball court and classes were in session. 

Even if someone were to walk into the court they would not be able to hear me. 

"It's too late for apologies," Derek seethed. He was disoriented and slurring, it was highly likely alcohol wasn't the only thing he was high on.

I remained silent. I didn't apologize to him. I would never apologize to a monster like him.

I had apologized to myself. For letting myself down. 

I couldn't fight him, I couldn't even see clearly. All I could do was focus on the searing pain ripping through my skull. 

My hands ran across the hard floor, occasionally running through a puddle of water. 

I felt my body jerk upwards briefly and through my blurred vision I saw Derek had ripped open my blouse. My back hit the wet floor with a  thud and in that moment I knew Zayn wasn't coming for me. No one was coming for me.

God, I was tired. So so tired. Giving up seemed easier than fighting back.

Maybe Derek would kill me now and end all the pain. Not just the pain in my head but the pain in my chest as well.

The pain in my chest was so much worse, it was constricting and suffocating, the more I thought of Zayn the worse it became.

Why does he want me dead? Why does he consume my every thought? Why is it that even in this moment where I'm pretty sure I'm about to be raped, all I could think about is how I wished this was all just a bad dream. And that I would awaken in Zayn's arms and he would tell me everything was fine.

That hope was worse than any cut, any bruise, any wound I had ever gotten. It was recklessly holding my heart in its unforgiving hands and the worst part was that I knew it was a lie.