"Hello! This is the Suicide Hotline, where we try to convince you not to kill yourself. How may I help you?"
"They should really change that tag line. It's really not very motivating."
"Chicken guy?"
"Colton but yeah..."
"Why are you calling?"
"Firstly I told you I'm gonna call and secondly its because I wanted to hear your amazing voice!"
"Are you serious?"
"As serious as a heart attack."
"How do you know that I'm gonna pick up?"
"Somehow I just know that you're done with a call right before 12:20 pm."
"Uh ... I'm sensing some stalker vibes here."
"Don't be ridiculous! Its not like I stare at the building you're in to check that you're finally done with a call before I call you."
"... I don't know what to say"
"Chill. I'm just kidding. I call exactly at 12:20 and hope that its you"
"You are seriously the most weirdest person I've ever talked too."
"I'd like to take that as a compliment. So Just Asa, tell me your life story"
"I'm not 'Just Asa' its Asa and why the hell would I tell you my life story?"
"Why wouldn't you? I'm the most wonderful amazing guy to grace this planet and you should find it a privilege that you're even talking to me."
"..."
"Are you laughing?"
"I shouldn't be because I'm at work but you're just so ridiculous I can't help myself"
"Ridiculous? I prefer extraordinary."
"... can you even spell that?"
"Duh its E.X--traordinary."
"Wow. Bravo!"
"I know right. Flips hair."
"Did you just say flips hair?"
"Duh. You can't see me flip my hair so I have to say it."
"Oh my word."
"I know. You don't have to say it, I'm amazing like that ... actually, you can say it if you want to, I can never hear enough of people awing at my amazingness."
"Amazingness isn't even a word."
"It is in my vocab. So Asa, now that you know how awesome I am, are you going to tell me your life story?"
"You being awesome isn't going to open my mouth to tell my life story."
"So you DO think I'm awesome."
"...Your head must be so big right now."
"That isn't the only big thing I have"
"... that is just disgusting!"
"What do you mean? I could be talking about my house, my car, food or my muscles."
"Don't give me that innocent tone. You and me both know what you're trying to say."
"No. You're the one whose head is in the gutter. I'm the innocent one here."
"... Who said anything about being dirty minded?"
"... Okay okay you got me there, but don't think I've let you go about you telling me your life story."
"That will never happen Chicken."
"Never say never babe"
"I'm rolling my eyes right now. My colleagues and not to mention my boss are beginning to stare."
"In other words I should hang up."
"Yep."
"I will, however don't forget that I didn't forget."
"Whatever."
"Until later Asa!"
"Bye Chicken"
*dial tone*
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