"So where have you disappeared to in the past three days Chicken?"
"Why do you wanna know? Missed me? Wiggles eyebrows"
"Firstly please don't say the action out loud. It doesn't have the same effect and secondly I don't miss you, I am just ... curious. I mean you did just hang up on me three days ago. Abruptly might I just add"
"That's no excuse to me girl. You totally missed me"
"I didn't miss you! I hardly even know you!"
"You don't have to know somebody to miss them besides with my charm and amazing personality it would be a disgrace and not to mention an embarrassment on your part if you didn't even miss me"
"Is it now ..."
"Of course. I always leave a mark on everyone I talk to and so when I'm gone for more than a day. The pain of missing me is usually excruciating to feel"
"That's interesting"
"Fact of life Asa. I'm surprised you're not bawling your eyes out saying that you missed me and that you can't live and breathe without me"
"I can't do that unfortunately. I'm in a place of work"
"I'll take that excuse because I don't want anyone else to know me to relief them from the same pain you're currently feeling"
"That's very thoughtful of you"
"I know. So are you feeling better?"
"About what?"
"That I'm currently talking to you. Is the pain of missing me finally going away?"
"I am. Its going away slowly"
"You're finally admitting it"
"I guess I am but that doesn't mean that I don't see your tactic"
"What tactic?"
"That you don't wanna talk about why you abruptly hung up on me that day"
"..."
"You could have easily said you don't wanna talk about it you know?"
"... its not that I don't want to... you know what screw it. I am talking on a suicide hotline right?"
"Uh... yeah?"
"So I can talk about it that means I won't get into trouble"
"You don't have to tell me if you're going to get into trouble you know?
"But I'm going to, because I'm awesome like that"
"Okay, go on then"
"I ate beans for dinner and had to live in the toilet for three days straight"
"..."
"Asanda?"
"...Are you for real?! Are you joking? You suddenly hung up on me because you had to take a sh--"
"Uh huh bad word"
"--crap?"
"Yep"
"Please tell me you're joking"
"No. I'm Colton"
"Ugh! Be serious for once!"
"But where's the fun in that? Look Asa I'm running out of credits because your line is damn expensive and also I need to go crap so we'll continue this conversation a bit later okay?"
"Hell no. You're so disgusting!"
"The word you're looking for is awesome. Later gator!"
*dial tone*
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