tangled in the great escape. (pierce the veil)

chapter 9

iris pov

I finally left the hospital today. I was glad to get out of there, I was sick of it. even though I was only in there for a couple of days it felt like forever.

we were all on the bus, everyone was in the lounge except for me who was laying in my bunk with earbuds in blasting the pretty reckless going to Hell album. we had about one or two more months left of touring which I was pretty upset about. after the 'incident' happened leaving me with a concussion, I just wanted to go home, crawl in bed and sleep forever. I can't go to the shows anymore anyways with my concussion with all the loud noise. it would just make it worse.

I layed there thinking about everything that's happened in the last couple of days while looking at my scars reminding me of the conversation me and dad had. it was true, I hated them. they reminded me of everything that caused me pain, everything I tried so hard to forget. but it's my own stupid fault. I was the one who did it. but it was all I knew. I didn't know how to cope with the pain and other way. I guess I was just addicted to the pain. I didn't even realize I was scratching them until I could see the blood on my fingers and blankets. but it made me feel better. like I said, I was addicted to the pain.

I was interrupted with my thoughts when the curtain was pulled back revealing dad and jaime. I tried to hide my wrist but I not before they saw the blood.

"iris!" I was pulled out if my bunk while dad was yelling. I didn't want this I just wanted to be alone. why couldn't they see that? I started flailing my arms and kicking my legs tried to make them get off of me and let me go.

"iris please stop! we're just trying to help you!" dad said while trying to hold me down

"can't you see that I don't want your help?! I just want to be alone!" I yelled

"jaime hold her arms down!" dad said while sitting on my stomach in attempt to get my to stop moving and kicking my legs.

"NO! LEAVE ME  ALONE! DON'T TOUCH ME! GET OFF OF ME! SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!" I screamed realizing I shouldn't have screamed for help because soon enough tony and mike came running back to see what happened. jaime was holding my hands, well more like holding them down so I couldn't move my arms but he was trying to make me feel better.

"its gonna be ok it's gonna be ok" he said while looking me in the eyes. I could feel someone holding my ankles down since I was still trying to move my legs.

"iris please calm down. we're not going to hurt you were helping you" I could see dad say through my blurry eyes. I started to shake my head violently back and forth.

"no no no no no I don't want help just get off of me!!!" I needed them to let me go. I could feel a panic attack coming on and it was getting harder and harder breath every second. I probably looked like I was choking on the air right now. I could see dad giving me a confused and worried look.

"vic get off of her she's having a panic attack!" I could hear tony yell while pulling dad off of me causing everyone to let go. thank Jesus. I immediately scurried over to the nearest corner and started rocking back and forth grabbing my neck. dad was by my side rubbing my shoulder trying to give me tips along with everyone else. but I just blocked them out and tried to concentrate on breathing. when I finally calmed down and could breath again I looked up to find dad staring at me. I looked down at my wrist realizing it was still bleeding. I felt dad pick me up and take me to the bathroom slamming and locking the door once we were in there. he sat me on the floor and cleaned my arm up.  I wasnt paying any attention to  anything put the pain. I was still crying which didn't help anything. I could hear the guys pounding on the door asking if I was ok.

why can't I do anything right? I can't do anything without messing it up and making everyone disappointed in me.

dad pulled me into a hug and told me things like 'you'll be ok' but that's all I heard. I blocked everything else out and just focused on my heart beat. when I was younger and I would have panic attacks I would focus on my breathing and my heart beat. for some reason it calmed me down but now when I listen to my heart beat I hate it. I hate listening to my heart beat knowing that it shouldn't. all I could think of was death.

"I just wanna die"

......

Srry for the short chapter.

will you think iris will get better or worse? comment what you think or want to happen and ill try to update as much as possible.

-brooklynn

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